Your Email Always Alerts You Before It Deletes
by regertz
Summary: -Things get noirish when a long absent Spike returns to Sunnydale to find Buffy  Married to Angel...Unhappily ever after...


"Your Email Always Alerts You Before It Deletes..."

Part I

Summary: Angel has (finally) come to help Buffy out...But things have changed...

Blame my wife, she suggested our rereading "The Postman Always Rings Twice"...Just when I had curbed my tendency to go off in a completely different story direction and was concentrating on just 2 stories...

Archived at the Normalverse (hardly, I know) page of the Buffy Rebeccaverse...

[Suggested main theme..."Wonderful, Wonderful..."]

After a while, I gave it up...Left Sunnydale...For good, I thought...

The right thing to do, you say...Pat on the back for noble William coming through?...Giving his Buffy the space and peace she needed...

Well...It's what I hoped I was doing...

But...The Spike will out, I guess...Even with the chip holding him...

I kicked around, all over the modern West, Mexico, demon-killer for hire, odd jobs man, that sort of thing...A postcard to Dawn once in a while...

Little bitch never wrote back...Tara did though, often...

Nice girl that Wiccan...Pity we never hit it off...A real Joyce that one...

Buffy wrote a couple of times...Wishing me well, take care, she's fine, that sort of thing...

And...Once...On my birthday...Will's if you can believe it...She sent a cake...A photo of her and Dawn...And of all things, my 1880 Cambridge University yearbook...

With me there, circled and big as life...

Must have taken weeks for her and Willow to track it down...She didn't even know my last name unless she got it from one of my demon buddies...Or in the ruins of my old crypt...

Then...Silence...But I kept tabs and found out...

Angel...The Brooding One finally made his appearance...

With "great" news...

A improved spell had removed the old curse but retained its demon block feature...And he'd learned the truth...

His soul was never gone, just trapped...As with most vamps...And unable to overcome the demon's control...

The curse had tossed Angelis into limbo...The breaking of the curse had merely brought Angelis back in control...And now, the new spell would free him of the last obstacle...The fear of his demon's return...

He'd decided, based on this, what Darla had told him, his son, his good fortune in business, and Wesley's research...While it was still a worthy goal for the noble Angel to continue saving the innocent...His tormented redemption hunt was no longer necessary...His soul had done nothing...

Like Darla said, there was no way to atone for the crimes of Angelis...But that was Angelis...

He could be happy now, thanks to the spell there was no danger...And now that he understood he had nothing to atone for...He decided it was time to help his old girlfriend...

And have a mother for his son...

A blonde mother...Like Darla...

Like Darla...Buffy had noticed quickly he mentioned Darla an awful lot...

Which only confirmed what she'd suspected since their meeting after her death when he told her his happy news...And gone on endlessly about Darla...Her nobility, her courage, her selflessness...

But, after all she'd been through, it was only natural that she'd grab desperately at the first chance for something approaching a normal life...

And, being the Slayer, as Angel was quick to point out...She'd be an invaluable asset to his firm...

Always an eye out for the practical, our Angel...

He'd moved the firm to Sunnydale...After all, the Hellmouth...And, he'd dutifully noted to Buffy...He realized she and Dawn would prefer not to move...

I'd always kinda wondered why he hadn't opened his business at the source of evil myself...But Buffy living in Sunnydale and all...

Angel was, of course, a dutiful husband...Though often busy...So much evil to battle...And poor Dru still loose...Must do his duty by her too...

Darla would want that...

But Buffy could sense he was avoiding her...In the spiritual sense I mean...He'd be there...And yet, not there...

She knew now...He'd mistaken her for another blonde when they'd first met...But...She also knew...Duty (and ego) would never allow him to admit it...

But...Dawn was happy and her life secure...Connor was a sweet kid...The gang thought she was happy...A reunited Xander and Anya too occupied in rebuilding their lives to pay much attention...Tara concerned but not wishing to interfere, Buffy seeming relatively content...Willow

too busy trying to win back her Tara, graduate, and keep off her magics...

Then I got a note...From Rupert Giles, of all people...

Who'd returned to America but was living away from Sunnydale...Monitoring, but not interfering now...Making only the rarest visits...

Visits I know Buffy lived for...Her real father come home...And, in spite of herself, poured out more than she realized to him in the course of them...

His note came to the point after a pleasantry or two, asking me to look in on her sometime...

I threw it away...No need to rake up the past...

Can't believe old Giles would be so foolish...

But...I couldn't stop thinking about it...About why even Giles would want me to "check in" on her...

And about her...

Angel and Buf'd been married about a year and a half when my feet turned traitor on ole Spikey and turned towards Sunnydale...

Business was booming for old Angel Investigations...Largest firm in Sunnydale...

And largest employer...

It was no time at all before one of Angel's underworld operatives had let him know his "grandson" was back in town...

I got a surprisingly friendly note at my crypt that afternoon...Asking to meet me...

A drink at Willie's...

Willie's and its owner had prospered with the coming of Angel Investigations...

Ole Willie naturally put himself on the winning side...Allowing his place to be used for surveillance, stakeouts, all that...Until the denizens of the underworld caught on and avoided him like the plague...

Angel, decent chap and all that, naturally came though for his "helper" and loaned Willie what he needed to turn the place into Sunnydale's favorite watering hole...So good, even some of the hunted underworlders couldn't resist a night out there...Angel kindly agreeing, for Willie's sake, not to bother them in the place...

So that Willie could still pass along a useful bit or two...

After all "the Snitch" must keep in form...

I came in, gave Willie the surprised look I knew he wanted as I scanned the new place, and took the booth he indicated...

Angel came in a half-hour later...Sorry, I'm late, busy times...

"So..." he grinned... "I hear you've been pretty William these past years, Mr. Walthrop..."

Been keeping tabs on me, eh granddad...? I looked at him noncommitally...

"William the Bloody rates, wouldn't you say?..." he smiled...

Besides Buffy...And Dawn...Were concerned about you after you left...

He hesitated...

"They told me all about that summer...And the year after..."

I'm proud of you, Will...

Lucky me...I looked at him...

"Thank Uncle Sam and modern electronics..."

"That's not what Buffy says..." he noted, looking at me...

Oh...

"What does Buffy say?... "

That William has been trying...he looked at me...

That she's sure there's something human in there...

He paused...

"You know about the spell...That freed me from Angelis...?"

I heard...Talk of the underworld for all of fifteen minutes...

He grinned...Same old Spike...

"It could be done...On you..." he looked at me...

What?...I paused, trying to catch myself...

"What...Lose that razor edge ole Spike gives me?..."

"I'm serious, Will..." Angel hesitated...

Willie came up, all smiles...

I looked at the beer...Unpronounceable import...

"Getting dangerously trendy there, mate..." I grinned at him...

What next, ferns and a string quartet?...Willie winked and moved off...

I turned back to Angel...

"You don't owe me anything, young Christ..." I smiled at him...

Buffy would like it...So would Dawn...he paused...

"And frankly I could use the extra help in my business..."

Well..If it's a job you're offering...That's different...I smiled at him..

"A little demon-killing for cash would be right up my alley..."

In fact, I paused...That's why I came back...Thought I could wangle a few bucks from you on a job or two...

Little short on dough just right now...

Angel pulled out a wallet, and plunked down a thousand...

"You're hired as of tomorrow..." he grinned...

But...I hope you'll think about the spell...

Well...I looked at him...Maybe I'll think it over, I told him...

"And how's about coming by the house?...It's early...Buffy was hoping you'd come to dinner..."

You never did see the boy...he smiled...

And Dawn wants to see you too...

Buffy wants to see me...The words kept pulsing in my mind...

She wants to see me...But no...She's got her Angel, her happy life...

She wants to rub my face in it...That's what she wants...

And, maybe...Make sure I'm not here to ruin things for her...

Well...There's nothing so enjoyable as making one's old beloved twist slowly in the wind...

"Dinner?...Well, my social calendar does have an opening..."

And I'd like to see Ms. Nibs again...I nodded...

"Great..." my new boss beamed...

But, listening from the bar, ole Willie eyed me...

Carefully...

"Dru is my major focus right now..." Angel explained as we drove over to the old house...

I want to help her as quickly as possible...

Might have done a better job last time you had her...I didn't say...

"I owe her that much..." Angel noted...

That goes without saying...I did not say...Nodding as we drove...

"But that means a return to LA...Full time for a while..." he paused...

Which is why...I really need your help, William...

"We've had good success here at the source...I don't want to lose the momentum..."

Had no idea this was a football game, granddad...I thought...

I tried to psych myself for seeing her again...

No good of course...

"Buffy didn't want to leave the old house..." Angel explained...

Maybe after Dawny finishes high school we'll get another place...Or maybe when...he paused...

Waving at Dawn as she came out...

Running up to us...

"Hey Spike!..." she called...

"Hey...Little miss-can't-pick-up-a-pen-to-write-her-old-babysitter..." I fake groused back...

She looked at her feet...

"I didn't mean to take so long writing back, Will..."

No problem, Nibs...I grinned...

"Really...I...Just things were so..."

She stood in the door, looking out at us...

I let Dawn prattle on...Trying to apologize for being a teenager...

Watching her, while trying to keep my eyes on the Nibs...

Angel waved to her...

"Got him, Buf..."

She smiled faintly...And I knew...

Without a word...I knew...

Odd...The first thought that popped up...

Poor old Angel...

Connor properly presented, a handsome little prince, that...We sat down to dinner...

Dawn flooding me with attention, desperate to make amends...

Buffy quietly watching me...

Only animated when Angel brought up the spell again...

"You should consider it Will..." she told me...

You have a right to be...Free...She looked at me...

"Please...Think about it..."

Angel, clueless...Smiled at her...

"We'll persuade him..." he told her...

I nodded...Well...

"If it can be done...And the chip wouldn't interfere..."

I'll think about it...

"The chip?..." Buffy looked at Angel...

"We'd check everything out first..." he assured her...

Of course...he paused, returning to me...It can't be done successfully on every vampire...

"Else I'd be long out of a job..." he noted, grinning...

Many vamps have merged soul and demon...Given in to evil...And nothing can be done for them...

"The way that creep Mears would if he were ever a vamp..." Dawn noted...

And Dru?...I looked at him...

Her soul is pure...Angel noted sadly...Trapped in limbo...But...

"I don't know what the effects of what I...What Angelis...Did to her...Before..."

"She'll be grateful if you free her, honey..." Buffy told him...

Whatever state her soul is in...

I nodded...

"Still..." he sighed... "If I could try to give her the life she lost...Here..."

At least see if that's what she wants...Let her choose...

"Angel has trouble seeing things in Slayer black and white..." Buffy smiled...

Demon or vamp...Slay...Human...Don't slay...

"It's not that easy these days, Buf..." Angel noted...

Yeah...she agreed...

And looked at me...

Angel was off to read his nightly story to Connor...Dawn attending...

Then bring me home to the old crypt...

To be replaced by a decent basement apartment asap he insisted...

I went to assist in the kitchen, carrying plates like a good guest trained in Victorian era manners...

"So..." Buffy eyed me...

Nice kid, Connor...I looked at her...

My heart pounding a 100 miles a minute...

"You'll try the spell?..." she hesitated...

For you?...I paused...Yes...

"For yourself, Will..." she quickly dodged...

"Your 'grandfather'..." she grinned... "Is quite concerned with you..."

And his wife...? I looked at her...

Cares...she nodded...

Always will...she looked away...

"Buffy...If things could be...Different...If..."

"It's too late, Will..." she looked at me...Then at her hands...

Too late...

"I should have tried to help you back then..." she kept looking at her hands...

I didn't have the courage...Or the faith in you...

And now...

"Angel is a good man..." she looked at me...

But...I returned...

She put up her hands...

I took one...She didn't resist...For a mo...I held it in mine...

Then she pushed me away...Staring at me...

"Why did you have to come back?..." she whispered...

Trembling now...I could see...

"He's never loved me..." she shook her head...

"When he first saw me, he saw the woman he'd been seeking all these years..."

"Darla..."

Hey, I was blonde...And fighting the good fight...

"So I filled in fairly well..."

I reached but she backed off...

"Then...Leave him..." I hissed... "I'll try the bloody spell...We'll go away..."

"I can't..." she stared at me...

Dawn...And...

"I couldn't bear trying to start all over again...With nothing..."

I stared at her...

"I've been dead...And I've been poor...And I'm tired, William..."

I can't start from the bottom...Again...

I'm a coward, Will...Fundamentally...she looked at me...

Maybe it's Death...Maybe, apart from the Slayer side...I always was...

I was afraid to try loving you then...I'm afraid to lose what I have now...

She put up her hands...

"I'm sorry..."

Of course, I should have left...Spit in her face, and left...Then and there...Humanity spell or no...

But...I rode home with Angel...Listened to his campaign plan for "Operation Dru"...Made my little suggestions...And promised to be in promptly at the office at ten...Courtesy a shielded car to be sent for me...

And I showed up promptly at ten at Angel Investigations, Sunnydale the next morning...

Tara greeted me...Advisor on things magic to the firm...

Sweet lady was glad to see I'd finally come...Home...

Yes, a real Joyce, that one...And equally perceptive...

"How'd you find Buffy and Dawn?..." she asked...

Watching me carefully, if sympathetically...

I mumbled some foolishness about how happy I was my dear girls were doing so well...

She eyed me...Tara Maclauy...No fool she...

My assignments were to be fairly routine...About what I'd always done, Patrol...Kill any demon or vamp lurking...Just with a few Rileyish extra tracking gadgets, a better car, and a few more surveillance-oriented tasks...

"Nothing you can't handle, I'm sure..." Angel grinned at me as he concluded his briefing...

You lot have done a grand job here...I noted...

"Well, with your help, we'll keep it that way..." Angel nodded...

"Are you looking forward to tramping the old LA stalking grounds?..." I asked pleasantly...

Soon...please...I thought...

"Well...LA has its charms..." Angel grinned...

"You've got to come down once Dru is settled and we can take a couple of days off...We'll take Buf and Dawn and see the sights..."

Sounds grand...I replied...

"Well...Let me leave you with our staff to bring you up to speed on the Rileyware..."

He winked...

"Does come in handy sometimes..."

And then you have a chat with Tara on that spell...

"I'll catch you both for a late lunch and maybe we can hunt up a new apartment for you..."

My caring gramps...

Poor fellow, I thought again...

Part II...

The spell was pretty straight-forward...

There should be no major problems in general, Tara felt...But, as always, she was hesitant about the overuse of magics...

And in my case, what with the chip and all...A full and thorough review of my status as well as the spell would be strongly recommended...

Demon-free...I thought in wonder...

And Buffy lost to me in any case...

About par for the course between the Powers That Be and William Soames Walthrop I'd say...

Granddad was pleased to hear at lunch that I'd agreed...Tentatively...To try it...

Another bit of annoying guilt removed...If it succeeded...

And dear Buffy would be very pleased for me...

So grateful to me for my amazing kindnesses last year...Sad that she could return so little...

And as for...

Well, Angel could understand my having come to love Buffy...

She was an easy woman to love...

And the Slayer held a fatal attraction for any vampire...Especially one like me, with a strong human soul fighting within...

We'd all be friends now...Fighting the good fight together...As we were meant to, he was sure...

Though of course, he was also sure a certain romantic poet would soon be reappearing in modern literary circles...

Nice to know your grampa has faith in you...

But Tara watched me...Sympathetically, of course...Her nature...But...Uncertain...

After lunch Angel took me over to a friend in the real estate business and I found myself quite well situated with a new apartment by early that evening...

Dawn, Angel winked as he dropped me off at the crypt...And Buffy...Would love it...

Redecoration and furnishing mode...I should prepare to bear up...Expect to spend the next several evenings at the Sunnydale Mall...

Just make sure they don't do the place all in puffy clouds and pink...

And they were at my crypt...The very next evening...

Angel, wanting me to get acclimated, had me learning the ropes at the office, days for the first week...Next week...Patrol with him and Buffy...

A decent chance to get settled and fully review the demon-block spell...

Buffy seemed out of sorts...

She was a bit miffed Angel hadn't brought you over for dinner the second night, Dawn explained...

"No reason for you to be alone here..." Buffy stared at the crypt walls, avoiding me...

Kind, Slayer...Thanks...I told her...

"Well..." Dawn grinned... "Now at least that we've got you...And Angel's Visa..."

Let's see your new place...And make up a list...

"We'll make it as posh as your old place was..." Dawn teased...

Buffy stared at me...But smiled...

Yeah...It was quite a place...A dream bachelor pad, if I remember correctly...she eyed me...

"That it was..." I said...

"I never apologized...For trashing the place..." she noted...

"Anya told me later about the eggs...I am sorry, William..." she hastily added...

Didn't know it was for me...Er, she looked briefly at Dawn...Us...Or that she and Xander were helping you...

And the eggs weren't to be used...The way Riley thought...

No skin off my nose, Slayer...I smiled...And winked at Ms. Nibs...

However if the groundspeople at my old place ever find out...

"So..." Dawn grinned...

"William the Bloody, bright new star of Angel Investigations..."

Soon to be running the Sunnydale operation, I gather...she went on...

"Temporary, Nibs..." I cut in...

Just temporary...I eyed Buffy...Who looked back at me...

Dawn giggled a bit...Buffy?...

"Will will be your supervisor...When Angel leaves, right?..."

I think of all my employees as "co-workers", Nibs...I teased...

Buffy smiled...

"I guess...I can deal..." she said...Her green eyes staring into mine...

After giving the place a thorough once-over, Dawn mapped a look that seemed a bit macho even by my standards...

I mean, danger of appearing poseurish there, I noted to her...

Besides, now that I have an actual place...Might be nice to have a few amenities like curtains, flowers...A decent sofa and coffee table for guests...

Writing desk...

Oh...Buffy looked at me...

As did the Nibs...

"You're going to try writing?...Again?..." Buffy asked quietly...

Well...I sighed...It did get me into quite a load of trouble in the past, but...Yes...

In fact, I've been doing some since I left...

Trying to reconstruct what I'd lost when my crypt went skyward...

"I never..." Buffy paused...

We never...she corrected...Did ask you if you had written anything...Or kept anything from...Before...

A little...I noted...But it was mostly dust by then anyhow...

No masterpieces lost, I promise you...

"I'd like to read what you've got..." Dawn beamed at me...

Sometime...

"So would I..." Buffy looked at me...

Sometime...

After work on my third day, before another mammoth Mall spree, Dawn and Buffy picked me up and brought me down to the old shop...

Where Anya, Willow, and a very sheepish Xander greeted me...

I eyed him...

"Well, if it isn't our wayward young groom..." I grinned...

Anya finally track you down?...

"About the size of it..." he admitted sheepishly...

Thank God...he added, beaming at her...She smiling gently at him...

"Don't be hard on him, Will...Please..." she asked me...

Just letting him know what a fool he'd be to let you slip by again, I smiled at her...

And saw Buffy nervously rubbing her hands...Jerking her head to stare at me...

So...Willow beamed at me...

"William the no-demon...No longer Bloody...In a few days..." she grinned...

Tara frowning at her...

She looked sheepishly back...Come on, sweetie...I been good...

"I'm a nag sometimes..." Tara cheerfully admitted...

Never, honey...Willow replied, winking at me...

"But...Will..." Willow came over to me...

"Humanity...Or at least demon-freedom...?"

Couldn't come to a nicer guy...

"And this from one who was nearly on your dinner menu..." she teased...

Buffy watched rather anxiously as Tara did a few checks on me...The purpose really of my little reunion party...

Willow non-magically advising her, following the spell instructions...

Well...Tara looked at me...And beamed...

"I think...It's a go..."

I can't see any way the chip would prevent the spell from working...

Buffy went over to her as the others came by to congratulate me...

"No..." I heard Tara say... "I can't say as to that..."

But we'll know in a day or so...

I looked over...Buffy had turned away from Tara and Tara...Was watching her...

Carefully...

But Dawn, bless her, is part of Buffy...And asked the question that I instinctively knew was the one Buffy had asked...

"Will he be different...After this?..." she asked Willow...

Well...Willow looked at me...

Less of a pain in the ass when his chip frazzles...I'd say...she grinned...

But...Honestly...She looked at me...

I can't say exactly what the effect will be...

"But I'm sure our Will will come through intact..." she grinned at me...

So...I thought...Looking over at Buffy...

That's it...

Now I knew why my two dear friends were both so anxious...Each in their own way...To 'rescue' their old friend...

Perhaps a little less consciously on Angel's part than Buffy's...

If the spell worked as they each to some extent hoped...Ole Spikey would be gone, and William...

Might be a very different fellow without him...

I was to be murdered...With the greatest of love and affection...And for my own good...

And a troublesome little item from their past...Painlessly eliminated...

So they hoped...Each in their own way...

Buffy...I was sure...With far greater consciousness of what she was hoping for...

But...Why not...

After all, "Suicide is Painless" as the old MASH theme goes...

And if it might kill the pain burning in me...And the thoughts spinning round my century-plus old brain...

I agreed to go ahead...

Part III...

The departure of poor ole Spike was rather...Unspectacular...

The next day I left the office with Angel and Tara at noon and we went to the shop...

Buffy was there with Anya watching, Willow in from college just after we arrived...

It was all over in a few minutes...

Buffy...And Angel watching me carefully...

"How do you feel?..." Tara asked me gently...

I shook my head...Not a whit different...

Is it really over?...

"Sorry there couldn't be more fireworks..." she grinned...

But...Congratulations...And farewell Spike...

But...I told her...I still feel that old blood desire...

Natural in a vampiral body...Tara smiled...But, do you want to kill?

"Only the fellow who cut us off in traffic coming over here..." I grinned...

Sounds like your typical human to me...she smiled back...

"Three cheers for William Soames Walthrop!..." Willow cried...Tears in her eyes for me...

As there were in Anya's, hell even Xander's...

And Buffy's...But I knew there was an additional reason besides sheer joy for me in her case...

"Well, William...Welcome home...For good..." Angel came over and shook my hand...As did old Harris...

No, Nibs...No difference that I can tell...I told Dawn as she asked me for the fourth time that evening...

A little family party...To celebrate...

"It's strange..." I told Tara...

"I haven't wanted to kill for sometime after all...Haven't been able to, thanks to the chip..."

Humans, that is...

But...I confessed...When I thought the chip had failed, earlier...After Buffy came back...

I tried...

Tara nodded...

"But now...I don't think I'd even try...At least not without a reason..."

That's the only difference...

Vive la difference...Tara noted...

"From our pov, Will...Preety big difference..."

"I almost feel sorry..." Buffy blurted out...

For Spike...she explained...

"He...Couldn't help what he was...And now..."

If it's any comfort...I smiled at her...

Screw him...The little mass murderer...

She looked at me...

"Sorry, Will...I wasn't thinking..."

I should have realized...It must have been Hell for you...All these years...

"Not since I had...All of you..." I looked at her...

She smiled at me...Gratefully...

I frowned at her...Can't you see...I haven't changed...

I hadn't had a moment alone with her...

I had to make her see...Will...I...Had always been the one who loved her...

Whatever vague contribution poor ole Spike had made...

But she was avoiding any moments alone...

Until late that night...When she showed at my place...Having arranged to take the east half of town while he covered the other...

I let her in...Knowing who it was the moment she knocked...

She stood in the middle of my new living room...Waiting for me to ask her to sit...Or maybe more...

I just glared at her...

With all the self-righteousness of any newly demon-freed human-souled vampire...

Hell, I should develop my brood...I thought...

"Angel's not a complete fool, you know...And he knows I love...Loved you..." I told her...

"Am I supposed to believe you came back here for the pleasure of working for Angel?..." Buffy glared at me...

I needed cash...And a job...I came where I figured I could get one or the other...Or both...I looked at her...

"Why the hell are you here?..." I glared again...

"You...Are the same, aren't you?..." she looked at me...Something in her eyes killing my desire to hurt her...To kill her in ways old Spike would've been shocked at...

Welcome back to Humanity, William...I congratulated myself...

"If you mean...Are you still kicking me apart inside...?" I stared at her...

Yes...I still love you...I don't feel the slightest bit different...

"Thank God!..." she burst into violent tears and ran to me...

"I was so...Afraid...I couldn't do...Anything...To stop it...But...I was so afraid...I'd lost you..." she sobbed...Kissing me...

Two weeks after our marriage...I tried to leave him...Buffy looked at me...

Sitting on my new sofa...A Dawn choice...

I'd realized...And I tried...she went on...

Dawn wouldn't come with me...she looked down at her feet...

She wouldn't give up her new family...

"I don't know what those...Monks...Did to me..." she paused...

But I can't give Dawny up...I tried...I tried to leave...I did leave...

For a couple of days...

It was agony...I couldn't bear it...

Then...Dear Angel came after me...To rescue poor dead Buffy from herself...

Liam, you see...Is still a very traditional kind of husband...

He pointed out to me...In the middle of being very kind, very comforting, very reassuring...That while I was well provided for in his will...

We weren't legally married per se...

I started...What?...

"Common-law thing...To avoid questions regarding Angel's past..." Buffy noted...

Birth certificates, etc, etc...

And then...She laughed bitterly...

To top it off...

My dear old friends got involved...

See...Naturally...To run like this...From the "love of my life"...Poor Buffy must be crazy...

Poor ole dead Buffy...she smirked...

Angel explained it to them...I needed to be "helped"...Protected from myself...

They knew how depressed I was before...And after you left...Well...

Lets just say...I was a leetle crazy at times...

Willow and Xander had caught me trying to let a demon rip my throat open...A couple of months before my heroic Angel came to save me...

A couple of weeks after you left...she stared at me...

So...

"Not want to be with the "love of her life"...She must still be crazy..."

And they all supported him in having me declared...Mentally incompetent...

I stared at her...

All of them...

"Guess they thought it was for the best..."

And Angel is a true blue hero...Who better, especially with Dawny supporting him, to protect me...?

From my resurrection depressed self...

"But...This isn't...Well..." I paused...

1880...

"You could leave, get legal counsel...Overturn the court's decision..."

I told you I can't lose Dawn...I can't break the hold...Not that way...she looked at me...

And I'd lose everything else as well...

Including my mother's house...My house...

Angel would have charge of anything left from my mom...In trust for Dawn, with power of attorney...

I'd be lucky to avoid spending the rest of my life in a mental institution...

And without Dawn...Thanks to the bastards who killed my mom, I'm sure...I probably would go crazy...she finished...

I spent the rest of the time we had that night trying to suggest...Something...

Tara...Breaking whatever hold Dawn had over her...

"Dawn is part of me..." Buffy noted...

According to what I could find out...What Giles could learn...The hold can't be broken...Until...

"Until you or she dies?..." I looked at her...

Or...There's another part of me to hold me to it out there...

A child...She explained...

If I had a child, I'd be able to fight the hold Dawn has...The link would be weakened...

I looked at her...

Not bad news from my pov...Even if there might have to be a sperm donor owing to genetic difficulties...

But...she hesitated...Even then...I'd still have nothing...

And, except maybe for Tara...My sister and all my friends would back Angel up...

Crazy Buffy must be prevented from hurting herself...

There must be a way...I looked at her...

She looked at her hands...

"I was hoping...Praying that you'd be different after the spell..."

You're my last chance, after all...

So...I made a deal with the Powers That Be...If you were different, I'd do nothing...Accept my life and bear up...Somehow...

But...If...

"Do you still love me William?..." she looked at me...

"More than ever, Buffy..."

"Are you willing to prove it?..." she stared deep into me...

Buffy...I would die for you...But...

"But..." she sighed, bitterly...

"Everyone would die for me...But..."

There must be a way besides...That...We could leave, I could find a way...

As for Dawny's hold on you...We can start breaking that...Right now...

"He'll stop me...They'll all stop me...Killing me with kindness..." she paused...

And I can't bear the thought of the life we'd lead...

I saved the world...A lot...she smiled at me...God knows I deserve a break...

Not a life of barely scraping by, hiding forever...Running from the family and friends who want to "help" me by putting me away...

And...If you helped me get away somehow...Angel would convince himself that you were Spike again...

He'd kill you...

"With the most generous intentions, of course..." she smiled at me...

"Give me a chance..." I told her...

Let me try my way...First we break Dawny's grip...Then...

She looked at me, pausing...

"I love you...And I will do anything to be with you..." she said...Sighing...

I failed you once, William...

I won't fail you again...

We'll...Try your way...First...she kissed me...And I held her...

Until she had to leave...

Part IV

Angel was naturally buoyed up by the second successful use of the demon-blocking spell...

And more anxious than ever to move on "Operation Dru"...

Though Tara, Buffy...And I...Had misgivings...

What if Dru's pure soul was freed...And came to full awareness...In that horror of a body?...

Surely it was kinder to just stake the vamp and let the soul finally find peace...

But Angel remembered the young nun his counterpart had killed...Her compassion and love for all in the world...Even a vicious beast like Angelis...

She might want her chance to help the suffering again...Or at least to experience a life before her just reward in Heaven...

She deserved the right to choose...He could after all, give her peace immediately afterward if she requested it...

After being back in town for a few days...I could see that what Buffy had told me was probably true...

It was clear from the way the others kept tabs on her that they were concerned about her condition...And that she was obliged to report...At least to someone...On where and when she'd be about during the day...

While her loving "common-law" husband watched over her on Patrol at night...

Hell couldn't be worse than this...

I confronted Tara about it at the beginning of the second week...The first night I was to work with Buffy and Angel on Patrol...

She was evasive...Unusual for her...

Clearly she didn't care for strait-jacketing a fellow woman in even the most loving of restraints and surveillance...And yet...

Buffy had tried to kill herself, she acknowledged...Several times on Patrol...Once just after I'd left as Buf had told me herself...And a couple of times early in her marriage...

And if she disapproved of the regimen Angel had set up to "safeguard" his beloved wife...Hated adding her voice to the others in support of Angel's petition on Buffy's mental competence...She had to admit there had seemed no other way...

And Buffy had seemed to be settling down, becoming content with her new life...The old depression lifting a tad perhaps...Angel promising to relax things as she improved...

Until I came back...When her agitation had gone through the roof again...For a mo, then oddly, a kind of quiet had descended on her...

A quiet that made Tara even more nervous...

As regards Dawn's hold on her sister...I had to be cautious...Not wishing to reveal that Buffy was the source of my info...

Simply asking if Buf still seemed as obsessed with Dawny as during the Glory battle...Not having been around in the past year and all...

Well...The sisters were very attached to one another...And everyone, even a certain blonde vampire Tara amusedly noted, had had powerful protective drives towards Dawn in the past...

But...Why was I asking?...Had Buffy mentioned any problems?...

She'd told me there was still an unusually powerful bond between them, at least on her part, I said...That she suspected it was an aftereffect of the monks' work...And, noting the gang's careful watch over Buffy, I was simply wondering if that was part of the problem...

Giles...Tara paused...Told me Dawn had a link to Buffy that was potentially crippling...For both sisters...He hoped it would dissipate over time, thought it might fade as Dawn grew older and almost certainly would as Buffy began a new family uniquely her own...

Fortunately Angel was aware of the situation and in time...

Connor would need siblings, after all...

Good, I told her...I just was concerned...

Was Buffy unhappy about the situation?...Tara looked at me...

She knew it was oppressive but...

"I'm hardly in the know on that, Tara..." I smiled...But, I noted...Now that I'm back, I will join in watching her...For any signs of trouble...

Dutiful family friend and former lover that I was...

Angel generally Patrolled with me that week...Mostly quiet, rather dull...Sunnydale at peace generally...

Talking about old times...poor Darla, his son, and his hopes for the future...His son's future...

I noticed Buf did not seem to figure much in these plans...Though he did briefly mention one night that he had been concerned for her at first...That he hoped she would continue to make progress towards regaining her old joy of life...

"It's nice to have you around as a friend, Will..." he noted at the end of that night's walk and talk...

Someone who knows Buf...Almost as well as I do...And who cares about her...

She needs people around who care...And will keep an eye on her...

While I'm away...

If I didn't know better, I thought...Looking at ole granddad...

I'd have said Angelis was playing cat-and-mouse with us...

But...Could it be?...Something in him is trying to push us together?...

And get him out of this...?

Buffy may not be the only one who's found themselves in a strait-jacket...

Poor fellow...

The last night of that second week I patrolled with Buffy...

We hadn't seen each other alone since that other night...

She was careful to make a fast sweep...Old habits of duty...

Then we headed for my place...Watching carefully for any operatives of Angel's...Or any of the old gang...

"I haven't felt like this...Since..." she told me afterwards...Holding me gently...

I know, I told her...

He'll be leaving for LA soon...She looked at me...

Now that you're up to speed...

I looked at her...

"He seems...Almost anxious to throw us together..." I noted...

He's unhappy too...she looked away...

But...Duty will never allow him to admit it...

The same duty will make him keep me on a leash for the rest of my life...she continued...

"Then...Lets talk to him..." I said...

Like adults...With an adult problem...

"He wouldn't understand..." she looked at me...

I have tried to talk to him...

"He's very kind...But he is an 18th century man...With a son...And I am now the mother of that son..."

The mentally incompetent mother of that son...she noted bitterly...

"It will work out...I've been through a terrible ordeal and I just need time...That's his stock answer..."

He is right about the ordeal, I noted...

Yeah...she sighed...Rolling towards me...

But where was he during that ordeal?...

"You didn't have to marry him..." I told her...

Which brought her up short...

"It was him...Or the guy tending grill at Doublemeat...Or maybe, even...Warren Mears..." she looked at me...Angrily...

And sighed...

"I couldn't go on alone...And when he showed up, at last...And told me he was ready to be with me..."

It seemed like finally...Some light breaking through...And I was so desperate for a little light...

"I'm not blaming you, Buffy..." I said...

But we have to do something...

"You said to let you try your way..." she reminded me...

That's what I'm doing...she noted...

I told her what I'd learned to date from Tara and other sources...Regarding Dawn and her link to her...

The monks had almost certainly never expected Dawn to survive beyond a short time...

If Glory failed, they'd figured they or the Knights would then return the Key to its original form as pure energy...

They hadn't counted on all of them being slaughtered first...

So...We were left with two options...At least for now...

Destroy Dawn and the link...Unthinkable...

Or weaken the link in the way Buffy had already been told...

She raised on one elbow, grinning...

"A pleasant solution...If we could do it..."

I will keep looking for alternatives...I told her...

Maybe offering Dawn a hefty shopping spree at the Mall if she comes with us would be one...I teased...

Buffy smiled...Well...But as to solution number one...

"I'd like to have your baby, William...If we can have one..."

We'll know soon...I told her...I've had my little check-up...

"Even that's no guarantee..." she noted...Frowning again...

And you know what the alternative is...

My carrying someone else's child...

"If it was the first step that freed you and brought us together...I could live with it..." I told her...

If it were...Angel's?...she looked at me...

"He is my husband..." she noted, avoiding my stare...

I see...Well, then things should work out well for you...I told her...

She left after that...In a rage...

But after a brief Patrol the next night...After Angel had left for LA on his Druquest...And I "took charge" at AI, Sunnydale...Under Tara's, Buffy's...And part-time researcher Willow's careful guidance...

She came home with me...

Like old times, I thought...

And is she still using me?...I wondered...

He came back a few days later...Earlier than expected...

Rather weary and battered...

Dru was still Dru...And had handled him and his men rather hardily...

But...He'd pinpointed her general location...And avoided letting her know she was the specific object of the hunt...

Now however, to complete the job...He'd need backup...Just for a night or two...One all-out push to end his last major task of atonement...

And...Sunnydale could spare us for a night or two, given the old and tested gang's presence...And the Angel Investigations team...

Buffy was quiet on the trip to LA...But I knew what she was thinking...

Angel, her, me...Up against the mighty if psychotic Drusilla...

Not too difficult to imagine one of us not making it back...

Part V...

Angel had arranged for Wesley, now his LA chief of operations, to meet us...Along with additional help...And one very special aide...

Rupert Giles...Whom Buffy greeted with joy...And a hair of what only I knew was shame and guilt...

"I thought we should have the best for this one..." Angel noted...

Called in old Rupert...The one person whose presence must nix any chance of Buffy's committing the act of betrayal I knew she was contemplating...

The same thought I'd had the other night crossed my mind...

Cat-and-mouse?...Or at least, an unconscious awareness of what's going on with his wife and me...

In our meeting at the LA office before proceeding, Angel gave us the outlines of the plan...

The LA staff would seal off the tunnels of the local sewer area where Dru nested in the remaining daylight hours...

They'd been monitoring the area since Angel's last near disastrous clash with her...

The rest of us would penetrate the tunnels, armed with crossbows, stakes, and tranquillizer guns...

Angel still wanted to try the blocking spell...But for that he'd need to get in physical contact range...

And Giles was actually the most experienced person with the spell...Having personally developed it from the old curse at the Council during his return to England...

Though in any case, Angel would keep him well back until needed, he explained to an anxious Buffy...

Having reviewed the plan, we broke up for a little buffet dinner while the staff people chosen moved to help secure the tunnel exits before sunset...We to follow as soon as the sun allowed...

Giles greeted me as we stood around...

"William, I understand congratulations are in order..." he looked at me...

"Apparently thanks to your work, Rupert..." I smiled...

And...How do you find it with Spike gone?...he paused...

I shook my head...No different for the most part...

"But then the chip had been holding old Spike down for some time..." I noted...

And...How do you find...Our Buffy?...

"Resurrection becomes her..." I smiled...Looking over at her where she was watching us while talking to Wesley...

We moved a bit away from the others...He obviously wanted to talk...

You should have stayed, Rupert...I told him quietly...

"Perhaps..." he sighed... "But Buffy had to stand on her own, especially after this...Experience..."

At least...She seems more content now...he eyed me...Carefully...

"I know...William...That Fate and the Powers That Be have given you a very unfair turn over the past century..." he began...

But don't make things harder for her...he stared at me...

That's not what I'm here for...I told him...

"Well..." Giles paused, looking at me keenly... "One never knows how things may unfold..."

Think of Buffy, whatever you do, Will...

Buffy called to him..

.

He patted my shoulder and headed over to his "daughter"...

After all...A devoted father only sees the best in his little girl...

After sunset, we went over in two cars...

Angel took the lead, entering us through the tunnel exit nearest to Dru's lair...

He turned to me once inside...

"Sense her?..."

I hadn't been sure if I still could...But the good old vamp body knew its mother still...

"She's in there...Straight ahead..."

A glance at the Rileyware thermal tracker confirmed that a vampire was near...

Buffy stood by Giles, urging him to take care...And called the same warning to me as I followed Angel...

It was not lost on me...Or Giles...That she hadn't called a similar warning to Angel...

But then he'd been hurrying on ahead...

She moved in after me, keeping a close eye on Giles and his escort of Wesley and several heavily armed men...

Dru was aware of us of course as soon if not sooner as we were of her...

And moved skillfully against us...Making use of her knowledge of the tunnels to pick off our support people at any unguarded moment...

But...The exits were too heavily defended...Even for her...And sealed with magics...

In the end, she had to fall back...Deep into the system...And knew, as we did...That the end for her was drawing near...

My poor frightened Dru...I looked at Angel and could see the same thought was crossing his mind as well...

Poor lamb...She doesn't deserve this...

"It will all be over soon, Will..." he told me sympathetically as we pressed deeper...

And she will be at peace...One way or another...

A kind fellow, my former grandsire...

Buffy had swung to the left, entering a broad tunnel which would converge and meet with the one Angel and I were entering...Dru down there, no doubt...And cornered...

Angel watching her as she rushed down...

"She'll be fine..." I told him...Give her her chance to strut a little...

He nodded...

"Is nice to see her so eager...She's been a little off these past months..."

I looked back...

"We'd better get Giles up here if we going to do this..."

He called back to the others moving up...Too much interference...

Angel peered down the tunnel in front of us...

"I'll head down in case Buffy needs help..." I told him...

You grab Giles and bring him down here...Your men know you better...

"No need for me to be crossbowed by a trigger-happy sentry..." I grinned...

He looked at me and nodded...

I raced down towards Buffy...And dear old Mum..

In the chamber formed by the converging tunnels...I found them...

Buffy had raced on into Dru's waiting arms...

Either to kill...Or be killed...

A solution, in any case...

I broke her grip on Buffy...Who staggered back...

Dru smashed me back and I fell...But...She halted, shocked...

Not so much by me being there...As by...What she sensed...Or, rather...Could no longer sense...

"Spike...?"

Dru stared at me...No...Not...

"You?..." she was trembling...

Hello, dear heart...I smiled at her...

You...You're not my Spike!...she stared in terror at me...

The Bad One...she whispered...

Angel entered...

Giles is coming, he called to me...

"Dru..." he called quietly...

Oh...Father...she whimpered...Looking at him...Then twisting away in despair...

Help me...

A demon's prayer...

I came towards her...

"No!..." she backed off...

Angel waved me back...

Buffy came over to me...And looked behind us...

"Please..." Dru pleaded... Turning to Angel...A last fear-driven moment of lucidity...

"You killed me Angel...Don't hurt poor Dru now..."

"I'm here to help you, Dru..." he told her quietly...

No!...she screamed...And looked at Buffy...Sensing...

"You know...You want to be free, like poor Dru does...You..."

She paused...Suddenly smiling at us...Buffy and me...

"You hate him..." she grinned...

Poor Angel...she looked at him...And turned back at us...

"You help me and I'll help you..." she smiled...And jumped at Angel...

I moved towards him but she caught him by surprise and he was down...

But I saw the look in his eyes when Buffy stood motionless as Dru charged at him...

I had to imagine the look she gave him...

Dru smashed at him as I jumped her...She tossed me off...

Buffy staring at me...

I looked at her...And hesitated...

Dru grinned and picked up Angel like a rag doll...

We heard the shout of the men coming down the tunnel, Giles among them...I could hear snatches of the spell as he called out the preliminary stages...

Dru smashed Angel against a wall...Buffy watching...Tears starting down her face...I stared...

"Forgive me..." Buffy whispered...Forgive me...

I ran towards Dru...But I could've run faster...

Giles and the others came in and I pulled Angel away from her...

Buffy raced up to us...

Angel was unconscious...And clearly in a bad way...But I knew he'd recover...

Vampire physiology...

Giles eyed us but focused on the trapped Dru...Now screaming incoherently at us...

Fortunate for Buffy and me...

The LA staff called for medical help as Giles read through the spell, finally touching the squirming, desperate Dru with the amulet used to complete the process...She sighed, relaxed, and collapsed, unconscious and trembling...

Buffy, kneeling by Angel, looked up at me...Trembling more than Dru had...

I helped her carry him up and out of the chamber as Giles tended to poor Dru...

"Dru knows..." Buffy whispered...As we carried her husband quickly back towards the staff in the outer tunnels...

"Giles suspects..." I whispered back, coldly...

I...I didn't want to...Buffy looked at me...It all just...

"We did what we did..." I told her...

But...If Dru talks...

What if he dies?...Buffy looked at him...

Now...She looked at me...

"No..." I said firmly...If he dies now...

Angel groaned...

Buffy sobbed, watching him writhe in pain, as we carried him...

Odd, I thought...

Her tears for him were sincere...

But...I guess a Slayer learns to compartmentalize her emotions...

Part VI...

We got Angel back to his office and after it was clear he would be unconscious for a while we loaded him up with pain-killers and transported him home to Sunnydale...

Where his loving wife took charge of his care...

Giles stayed to tend to the still unconscious, now demon-blocked Drusilla...A makeshift quarters set up for her in the LA-AI building basement...

I went back to LA check to on her progress the following evening...Nothing unusual in that...The victim who'd sensed her pure soul in flashes anxious to bring closure to the story...

And to learn if she had begun to make sense regarding Buffy and me in her babblings...Which were continuing, Giles had told me over the phone, even in her current state...

Buffy arranging to keep Angel properly sedated until I had had a chance to learn what Dru remembered if anything...And what she'd spilled in her delirium...

As for what he remembered...We'd deal with one thing at a time...

She was apologetic when we found a moment alone in the house...Just before I left to check on my dear old vamp "mum"...

"I shouldn't have...I should have let you do it your way, Spike..."

"You didn't do anything, really, Buffy..." I looked at her...

No...she looked at her hands...I didn't do...Anything...

Her eyes teared up again...

"I didn't want him...To see me...The way I looked at him...When I thought..."

You'd better hope he didn't...I told her coldly...Or at least doesn't remember if he did...

"I didn't want him to see me hating him...But..."

You never should have let it get this bad, Buf...

She stared at me...Something of the look she gave him that night in her eyes I knew...

Dru regained consciousness, after a fashion, while I was there...At her bedside...

Looking at us with no recognition...Mumbling vaguely...

Demon-free...But as lost as ever...

Angelis had done a through job before killing her, I noted to Giles...

Who watched her with me, sadly...

"Is there...Anything...We can do...?" I asked him...

The dutiful Victorian son, that's me...

"I hate to see her go on like this..." I told him...

He shrugged...Perhaps in time...She'd make progress...

And learn what a first-rate homicidal maniac she'd become over the past century...

I looked at him...

"Angel made me promise to try the spell..." he noted... "And I did..."

But I suspected this would be the result...

He sighed...And gently kissed the trembling Dru's shaking hand...

Well...

"As I said...One never knows how these things will unfold..."

I sat by her bedside, holding her trembling hand as she fought with the terrors dear Angelis had created for her...

My poor innocent Dru...

But a profound sense of relief coursed through me...

A similar sense had eased Buffy's torments...Angel had regained consciousness...

But had little or no memory of what had happened that night...Even in a vampire, a fractured skill is a fractured skull...

However he was relieved to learn "Operation Dru" had been a success...At least from his pov...

And he wanted Dru to come "home"...Intact...To Sunnydale...Where she could be cared for properly by a new and loving family...

I suspected Giles did not approve of keeping her in her present state but he deferred to Angel...Who insisted on her preservation...

Dru might, with good care, one day recover, after all...he argued...

It was his...Duty...To care for her until then...

Father Angel, knowing what's best...Extending his kindly paternal mantle over us all...

Buffy and I naturally took over full Patrol duty for Sunnydale while Angel convalesced...

For us, at least...That week...Free of the burden of fear that had weighed on us since that night...Was the happiest, most carefree time we've ever had...

Buffy agreeing that we'd been insane to try that way...We'd find another way in time...Breaking the Dawn stranglehold and making a decent life for ourselves...Keeping the pain for all, even him...To the minimum...

Until then...She was content...

And I...Could deal...

But...At the beginning of the following week, as an invited dinner guest, I came in on a little family spat...Buffy and the nearly fully recovered Angel alone in the house...

He wanted Dru home...In Sunnydale...

Here..

Dru had a soul again alright but...Needed constant care...And who better to provide it then her "father" of sorts...

He couldn't abandon the poor thing...To some institution where she'd be alone and little doubt, exposed to sunlight the first day...

Buffy had different ideas...Well suspecting just who the burden of dear little Dru's care would be falling on...

.

They were not at their best as happy couple when I came in...Perhaps abusing my status as welcome guest by not knocking loudly enough on my entry...

But after all, I wasn't alone...Tara had come as well...So it wasn't eavesdropping...

Not really...

Buffy was shrieking at Angel...

"You're not bringing her here!"...

"Buffy..." Angel was cold...And firm... "Dru is my responsibility...That makes her your responsibility, too..."

She trembled with rage...But got hold of herself as Tara and I came in...

"Hi...Guys..." she tried to smile at us...Coming out to greet us in the living room

This isn't settled, Angel...she told him as he went upstairs...

Tara looked at me...I at her...

Well...Buffy again tried to smile at us, waving us to a seat on the sofa...

"You two seem to be spending a fair amount of time together..."

He came down, smiling as always...And we sat down to dinner...

Tara and I carefully avoiding the subject of Dru as we ate...

"Nibs out for the evening?..." I asked...

At Janice's...Buffy informed me...

"Not that I approve of her..." she glared at Angel...

Dawny needs friends her own age, Buffy...Angel calmly replied...

"You have no right to go back on things I've told her to do...Or not to do..." she told him coldly...

Even if you have had me legally declared a feeble-minded child...Like...

"That's enough, Buffy..." Angel told her quietly...

Dru doesn't deserve to be talked about that way...

But I do?...she stared at him...Quiet rage...

"If you act like a child...Yes..." he stared back...

Dru can't help herself...You can...

You said you'd get the decree on me reversed, she told him...

"When I feel you're ready..." he told her coldly...

"I am not spending my life treated like a child and caring for your past mistakes on hand and foot!..." she told him...

He got up, excusing himself...

"Buffy..." He eyed her... "Is upset..."

I'm sure she'll be better in a bit...I'm sorry...

"It's been nice...I'll leave you to have a little chat time with her...See you tomorrow at the office..."

She glared at him...As he left...To go upstairs...

Story time for the little prince Connor...And even a furious Angel is a dutiful Angel...

Be interesting to hear tonight's story I couldn't resist whispering to Tara...Who slyly grinned back at me...Then remembered to frown at my bad behavior...

Tara made her excuses and left shortly after...Wordlessly hoping I'd say something to her...Calm her down...

I waited...

"So..." Buffy looked at me, off-hand...Bitterly...

"So...That's my life...From now on..."

Caring for his crazy, dead "daughter"...

For the rest of my life...

She slammed a hand on the kitchen wall...

I stared silently...

Tough for me, eh...she nodded at me...

You can walk now...Buffy's life is...Settled...

I kept staring...

"You do have a stake here, William..." she glared at me suddenly...

"I'm pregnant..." she eyed me...

And it's not Angel's...Though I was ready to tell him so...Until...

I stared at her...Until she decided she needed me to help her out of her little nursing care job...

She shrugged...

"I suppose you don't believe me..."

I got up...Glaring back...

"I believe you...And I believe you wouldn't have told me unless you needed me..."

That was always your way, Buffy...No sacrifice is too much for those who serve the Slayer...

In any capacity...

"Anya's the only one who ever saw though your act..."

'Oh my dear little friends, I wouldn't put your worthless lives at risk for the world, but my precious ass is at risk and I need something to throw at my latest enemy...' I sneered...

So...She stared back at me...

"I get my chance to break with Dawn at last..."

Your way...she reminded me...

What we hoped for...

But...Now...

"Now...He'll never let me go..."

And...She looked at me...

"He knows...About what really happened in LA..."

I stared at her...She nodded...

He remembers...But...He's...Forgiven me...

It's his nature...She noted...

I went to her...Realizing...

"That's why...I was going to say..." she looked at me...

That the baby was his...

Otherwise...

"He'd kill me..." I finished looking at her...

Or his people would...

Spike...she corrected...He'd never kill William, only Spike...

You'd just be the innocent bystander he'd had to take out at the same time...

Clearly the spell having failed...You...Spike...Having led me on to these awful acts...

she noted...

As for me...Crazy Buffy...In my current certified unbalanced state...

I'd be forgiven...Again...

To continue my happy life with the one I love...Forever...

"I didn't understand, Buffy..." I told her...

She nodded, tears in her eyes...

I'm not afraid of him...I went on...She put a hand over my mouth...

"I am..." she whispered...

"I said I wouldn't fail you, William...Not again..."

And I won't lose you...Whatever price I have to pay...

"You asked me..." I hesitated...

If I loved you...If I would prove it...

She stared at me...

"I'm ready to prove it..." I looked at her...

Part VII...

After what Buffy had told me, I was surprised, I told her, to find I'd still been in the Brooding One's good graces...

That he hadn't staked me then and there in the house...Still treating me as a good friend, loyal employee...Dutiful grandson...

Unless he was a much better actor than I'd ever given him credit for...And simply not willing to disturb Tara...

She explained...She'd taken it...The LA incident...All on herself...

After all, I'd helped him in the chamber against Dru...Pulled her away from him...If perhaps with a tad less of my usual speed...

He had no reason to doubt me...

It had simply been her...Frustration coming to the fore...She'd been furious over the competency thing and it had surfaced at a bad moment...

A moment of hesitation and anger for which she naturally would suffer intense regret for the rest of her life...

But...He was Angel...And Angel understood...Forgave...

Without hesitation...

Although...He now firmly expected her to do his duty by Dru...

And...It was likely he'd be keeping a stricter eye on her from now on...

Just in case poor Crazy Buffy tried something foolish...

Like...an attempt at suicide again...Or...Maybe even...Turning to dear old William for a little comfort...In a fit of aberration, of course...

Recklessly encouraging his poor romantic "grandson" in his hopeless dreams of attaining her...

But Angel'd be there...With his careful love and support...

To see that she did nothing to jeopardize her happiness...Or mine...

Our guardian Angel...

But...As we stood in the kitchen...In spite of everything...I couldn't repress the joy...

A baby...My baby...

Our child...

And sorrowful as she was under the current circumstances...I could see...

She rejoiced with me...And for me...

We hugged each other...Joy shining in our eyes...And for a moment...Neither of us cared...

Not for Angel...Or anything he or the others might do to us...

Our baby...Our child...

Our miracle...

I could of course have tried to pretend that it was for the best for him as well as us...

He was as anxious to be out of the marriage in his own way as Buffy was, we knew...And just as trapped...By his duty and his ego...

And we'd be sending him to join his true love...Darla...

But neither of us could quite bring ourselves to that level of dishonesty...

We were going to kill him...For each other...For our child...

And for his money, his property, and what little that rightly belonged to her...

There was no point in trying to pretend...

Just the usual...Human...Motives...

But there were practical matters to consider...We couldn't act rashly as we had in LA...

Another failure would not go ignored...

It had to be done right...And carefully...This time...

But it wouldn't look careful or "done right"...To be successful, it couldn't...

It had to look careless, sloppy...Nothing that a William the Bloody would ever be willing to take credit for...

Nothing grandiose...

A simple, messy, tragically meaningless accident...With plenty of loose ends, nothing nice and neat...

The sort of thing that happens to human-souled creatures...Like us...Every day...

Part VIII...

It caught me by surprise...And joy, I must say...When Buffy was angered by my insistence that she tell Angel and the others her wonderful news...

That she and Angel had been blessed with a second miracle all their own...

The first step in what would be a happy reconcilation...And another factor explaining her recent unfortunate lapse in LA...

"You want me to tell everyone...That this is not our child...Your child?..." she glared at me...

Despite knowing what the consequences would be...But I understood...She wanted me to fight a little for our child...For her...Even if it in the end it couldn't be and we had to face facts...

"I want to tell everyone, Buffy...But we both know what would happen..."

All that matters is that we know...And that, in the end, we're together...With the baby...

"I won't back out...I won't go...You know me...I stick around, I can't help it..." I grinned at her...

"Victorian poets are fools for love, you know..."

I know it's terrible to make you do this...Buffy looked at her hands...

You've just won back so much...And I'm condemning you...Again...

"Will you be there?...Wherever the afterlife sends me?..." I looked at her...

Yes...Wherever...she looked back at me...

"Then I don't care...It will be Heaven for me..."

She told Angel the happy news late that night...After receiving his dutiful apology for any share of his in their little dinner spat...

Dawny came by the office while I was doing research with Tara that next afternoon, unable to contain the great news...

The clear proof that she hadn't pressured her sis into making the biggest mistake of her life...For her dear artificial sis' sake...

I love the Nibs...Dearly...But if this scheme succeeds and Buffy is a little less bound to her after the baby is born, I think she'd benefit immensely from a prep school in Switzerland...And college far, far away...

Tara and I made happy noises at the news...Dawn thoughtfully expressing a little concern for my feelings...But I indicated that I was happy for Buffy...After all, it's nice to see a story of true love work itself out...

Tara seemed a bit more uncertain...I knew she'd been wondering if they'd done the right thing in backing up Angel against Buffy...And , somewhere inside, maybe, hoping my arrival would open up new possibilities for Buffy...Now that door was closed...

She too tried to ease the pain for me...But I bore up very well...Though I admitted to her after the Nibs moved on to dispense the tale elsewhere that it did sting a bit...

But a human-souled vampire adjusts...And I'd accepted that Buffy could not love me when I first left...

I was truly happy for her...

That at least was unmistakably true...

Old Willie was likewise sympathetic when I stopped in for a drink a night or two later, just before Patrol...A sector assigned to me on my lonesome...The reconciling lovebirds choosing to cover their areas together...

News travels fast...I told him when he paused by my spot to commiserate with me...

Angel was a proud papa...Willie noted...And everyone is a sucker for a story of true love...With a happy ever after ending...

Even his underworld clients...The ones who still risked coming...Couldn't conceal their enthusiasm for this one...

Most of them had been human once, after all...

But...Willie eyed me...Must be a pang or two for old William in the midst of all the joy...

A pang...Or two...I cheerfully admitted...

But one moves on...And I had a good life now, a secure future, family and friends...Even the afterlife looked promising for me now...

He nodded, smiling...The old smile of the "Snitch"...Famed for his talent at ferreting out what one did not want to become publicly known...

All the better...And I resolved to make sure I made my ole pal's place at least a weekly stop...

If Willie'd picked up no hints during the next few weeks...Not likely anyone else would've...

Outside the natural regret and 'pang' anyone would expect...

I spent considerable time with poor Dru during the next few weeks...Who made little if any progress...

Buffy had accepted her role as nurse although Angel naturally had had second thoughts after her little announcement...

But with a little nursing help from a part-time nurse, she could manage, she'd told him...

And she was anxious to let me know...When we were alone with my poor "Mum"...That she could accept Dru as a permanent charge if I wanted it...

Her past display of resentment at the burden had had other roots, she assured me...

As long as we'd be together...She'd deal...

And she'd come to feel for Dru...Another woman trapped in a tragic situation...With Angel...

So things went...For a while...

I settled in as a valued asset of Angel Investigations...A fair-haired...literally...boy...And the apple of my "gramps"' eye after his beloved Connor...

Not to mention my dear new step-grandma...

Who'd given every sign of a happy reconcilation with her true love...

Despite perhaps a hair of frustration at his continued reluctance to start on revoking her competency decree...And the watchful eyes kept on her...With redoubled vigilance for the new mommie-to-be that she was...By loving husband and all her dear friends...

Our private meetings were...Understandably...Brief and on the sly...

Generally during our times on Patrol once Angel had resumed his full workload and Buffy persuaded him to let her handle part or sometimes all of their sector on her own...Easing his burdens like the dutiful and caring wife...

Of a dutiful and caring man...

Fortunate Sunnydale not to be menaced by any new and powerful threat during those days...

We waited...As patiently as we could...For the right opportunity...

Generally expecting it would come on Patrol...

Though we could not allow it to come too quickly or easily...

If anything, Buffy pregnant was a hundred times more beautiful...

I was finding the situation less and less tolerable...

And she couldn't maintain that loving gaze on dear old Christ Jr. for much longer...

But then, Fate...Or the Dark Side of the Powers That Be...Dropped the opportunity we'd been waiting for in our laps...

I'd forgotten Angel's promise of a little vacation trip to LA when things settled down...But he hadn't...

We all deserved a break...he noted happily...Making his announcement at a family dinner that included his dutiful "grandson"...

A little vacation before Buf was too far along to enjoy it...

A chance to show his new family "His city"...

We both realized as he spoke that our chance had come...We'd never have a better...

Of course dear Dawny would be along...But, as Tara and her Willow would likewise be included there'd be opportunities for isolating my dear grandsire from the others...

I played hard to get from the start...The happy couple wouldn't want me along to get in the way, someone had to mind the store here, that sort of thing...Buffy following my lead, hinted at a slight reluctance to be burdened with extra traveling companions...

Naturally not wishing to forego a chance to second honeymoon with the love of her life...

But seeing as how anxious Angel was to make it a family affair...She finally gave in with good grace...

After all, Willow and Tara, Dawn and her old favorite babysitter...Everyone was paired off...

She and Angel would find chances to be alone together...

Of course the party would have been even larger, but Xander and Anya had had plans of their own when Angel approached them...And Giles, the one person I did not wish to see join us, was returning to his new home in New Mexico, having done all he presently could for Dru...

Buffy was disappointed...If it had to be a family thing and all...

But she bore up...Giles promising to return when and as soon as he could...

Entreating her to take special care during these unsettling times...When he departed a just few days later...

And eyeing me as he spoke...

By now, naturally, our dutiful Angel had insisted Buffy cease Patrol duties...He, I, and the AI-Sunnydale team could easily handle what little was likely to surface...

Which actually gave us a chance for a few longer rendezvous than we'd had in a while...

And a chance to plan and prepare...

To do it properly...Make it a messy, horribly meaningless accident...Involved a very high degree of risk...

It would require at least one of us, maybe both...Maybe...All three...To be exposed to the same danger as our Brooding one...

But we'd be prepared...And he wouldn't...

Part IX...

Our plan was simple...It would be to all appearances an accident...And we would be taking our fair share of risk...Even putting our child on the line...

Our deal with the Powers That Be...

Our happy band reached LA that evening and we settled in our hotel rooms...Angel doing us proud...

We headed to see some LA night sights...Considerably safer town with Drusilla out of action...

Willow sheepishly slipped over to me when we stopped for a bit at a watering hole Angel was particularly fond of...

No, not that place...Buffy and I weren't fools...And even Angel was reluctant to let his true feelings about his "happy" life surface just now...

Besides this place had much better music...

Would I?...Ask Tara for her?...If she'd be willing to slip out for a little while...Just to talk...While we were away from the Sunnydale routine for a few days...?

Willow looked at me desperately...Progress had been slow since they'd re-established conversation links...

Tara clearly had firm ideas on what constituted redemption in her relationships...

I was happy to help...I said with a smile that Willow gratefully returned...

I guess I'd forgotten there was another tormented love affair in progress here...

Fortunate...I realized...

Our chance to get Angel alone...If I could persuade Willow that taking Dawn on a leetle shopping spree with Aunt Tara was the best possible way to get in their chance to talk...

Willow was happy to agree...Tara clearly pleased when she suggested it...Dawn never one to turn down a mall experience...Especially in LA...

The rest of us would keep ourselves busy...

Buffy had been expecting something like this and followed my lead...Including when I tried to beg off further sightseeing and dinner, leave the two lovebirds to themselves...

She indicated that she'd like to accept my generous offer...Get in some quality time with the hubs...Perhaps a romantic drive up the coast to some little wayside place...

Naturally Angel hated the idea of leaving me all alone the first night...

"Why don't you come with us, Spike?..."

Buffy's frustration was rather genuine...She might be planning to kill him to have me, but Geesch...He could try to be a little more considerate of her feelings...

So much for the hearts and flowers stage of their marriage...

But on a promise that he would devote the rest of the trip to her, she relented...

She wouldn't really want me to be alone the first night anyway...

We had outlined a basic plan earlier but had only a moment to review it when he went to check his messages as we sat at the little restaurant Buffy'd chosen...After rejecting a number of others closer to LA...

She had a emergency tank of gas in the car...Always forgetting to keep the tank filled was our absent-minded Slayer and mommie-to-be...So...At Angel's suggestion...She kept a can in the trunk...

All we had to do was find an isolated spot on the road...Where the cliffs were somewhat but not impossibly steep and a poorly driven car might get into trouble...

And make sure our dear Angel didn't survive the accident...

At dinner I engaged my ole granddad in a minor drinking bout...Nothing so extensive as to draw suspicion...Just a few pints of brew from the old country...Just enough to get us both a leetle wobbly...

It was nice to see the Brooding One relax a little...

Buffy naturally keeping to mineral water...But happy to see her boys enjoying themselves just a little...

Within the bounds of reason and sense, of course...Nothing that anyone would find excessive...

Especially for two former maniacal killers...

We'd started dinner late and we finished late...Buffy suggesting a further drive up the coast in the moonlight...

She'd lived near the Pacific for years but almost never had the chance to see it...

Her loving companions, her two redeemed vampires, the best friends she had in the world, were happy to oblige...

Serenading her with a few songs of their respective old countries...Our sheet...er sweet Slayer...

She spotted a perfect place about an hour and a half later and signaled to me...I nodded tersely and we continued on for another hour or so...Then turned back...

With several stops along the way to view the coast from the vantage points she'd noted...

Angel pleased to see her so enthusiastic...His idea for this trip seemed to be a winner, he smiled at me...

I agreed, smiling back...

I had slipped to my door in the rear just before Buffy nudged the car over the crumbly spot in the cliff road she'd spotted...And managed to open it just as we went over...

I fell out as the car went over and Buffy screamed...Rolling down after them, I struck hard, undoubtedly breaking in several places, and finally struck my head and went out...

Buffy's screams echoing in my head...Along with my desperate prayers for my love and my child...

But at that I was lucky...There'd been a ton of wooden trash around me, any of which might have spelled finis to old Spike...

Angel was likewise lucky to avoid immediate destruction...But when I came to, the best part of an hour later, I saw things had worked out as we'd planned...

He was trapped in the car, with it rolled over, pinning him down in the wreckage of the back...

Buffy had hopped out her door, after making a hurried shout to both of us...

He'd come to, somewhat more clear-headed now, but still woozy and disoriented...

I spotted the little pool of gas below the gas tank nozzle, Buffy eyeing me...She'd

already seen to that part of the task...

Now that she knew I was safe we were set...Just needed one small spark...

We just stood there, more or less...Unable to move much...Literally on my part what with several busted ribs and what I took for a broken arm...

Angel struggled feebly to get out, calling to Buffy who responded...Telling him she couldn't move the car, couldn't get to the door...Now facing skyward...

Three plus months pregnant after all...And pretty well banged up herself at that...

She called to me... Was I alright?...Could I help?...

I staggered over beside her...Calling to Angel in my turn...Attempting to climb up onto the car to the door like a dutiful grandson ought...

Impossible, even if my effort had been a sincere one...

I could feel Buffy wavering...For a moment...

But then I felt her take my hand from behind...And I looked back at her...

A face as set and resolute as stone...

No going back now...

And it was true...If we gave it up now...Angel was sure to put things together in time...

Mercifully one decision was taken from us...The sun was starting to pink the eastern sky...

I made one attempt to shove the car over with Buffy pushing as well as she could under the circumstances...

No go...

She'd called to Angel who seen the light in the sky...She'd try to reach the highway, flag someone down...Spike would stay with him, keep trying...

We could see him through the glass of the back side window, crushed against the rear...

He knew as we did it was now almost hopeless...Though I tried to cover what window and smashed open spots I could...And he did what he could to cover himself...

"Wait..." he called feebly to Buffy...

Connor...?

"I'll take good care of Connor...I promise..." Buffy looked at him...

He stared back at her...Nodding slightly...

She backed off, and started moving up the hill...I stood by the car, saying...God knows...Anything that popped into my head...Babbling to keep us both calm...

He could see the sun beginning to creep on us and call to me to take cover...

My "grandfather", caring hero to the end...

He was that kind of a guy...

I won't know until I go myself I guess...If he knew what we were doing to him...I can hope, as I do, that he didn't...

That he died with his loving wife and good friend trying to save him...

I know he would have tried to make himself believe that...

All we needed now were a couple of ignorant well-meaning passersby...

Cops if possible...

She'd reached the highway...Waving frantically, in terror at every passing car...

Buffy's terror was genuine...But it was not for Angel...

I had little protection myself except for the car...

Two boys in blue in a police car spotted the young woman wandering about the highway and pulled over...

They reached us just as the first fires had begun breaking out inside the car, setting the puddle of gas ...Some of which Buffy had spread just inside the door when she'd poured it out from the spare tank...Aflame...I was hopping about, trying to stay in shade and shoving desperately at the car...

But not as desperately as I might have...

As we had planned they were too anxious to get to the trapped "man" and Buffy and I too injured to stop them from opening the door despite our pleas...

We all managed to throw ourselves down as the car exploded in flames...

Buffy in shock, staring...

But the need to keep me out of the hands of the well-meaning cops who would have kindly killed me by suntan brought her to herself quickly...She arranged for me to be wrapped up in coats...As protection against shock from the loss of blood...And hastily carried up to the ambulance the cops had summoned...She beside me all the way, watching carefully...

Grateful that the task at hand kept her from looking back down the hill at our handiwork...

With the help of the Angel Investigations-LA people, particularly the grieving Wesley, Buffy was able to get me safely out of the hospital and home to Sunnydale without incident...

As far as the LAPD was concerned, the case was straight-forward and settled in a few days...

Accidental death...

The gang accepted our story as did the AI staff and Angel's old LA team...In fact they were too concerned about Buffy's possible injuries to have much time for doubt...Though I knew Tara was...Uncomfortable...

Dawn kindly spared a fair share of her concern for me...Tending me at my place...

Tara joining her after a couple of days...Apparently willing to accept our account of events...

Perhaps she simply felt Buffy had suffered enough...

But there was one remaining fly in the ointment...

Angel, like Buffy, was now officially under the jurisdiction of the Council of Watchers...A sensible arrangement from Angel's pov...The Council wielding considerable power behind the scenes as they did, could painlessly deal with certain bothersome problems...Like...The occasional crooked pol or cop in bed with the new local vamp leader, the clueless human witness to a demon kill who needs to have what he or she saw "properly" explained away...That sort of thing...

They'd demanded a hearing into the particulars of his death...

And could demand and enforce justice if it became necessary as a result...

Buffy was at least pleased to see that dear Rupert would be assigned to investigate the case...

I however...

Part X...

He wasted no time in coming to see me with a couple of Council staffers as witnesses...As I recuperated at my new place...

Smiling pleasantly at Dawn and Tara, my nursemaids...

"Buffy alright?..." I asked him after they left...

Naturally my attendants would have kept any upsetting news away from me...

"Do you take me for a fool, William?..." Giles smiled thinly at me...

Neither of the others looked at me as I lay under Giles' stare on my sickbed...

"I'm well aware of your relationship with Buffy before you left Sunnydale, William..."

"Before my demon was blocked..." I pointedly noted...Glaring back at him...

Best to take the forthright approach I thought...The air of a man with absolutely nothing to hide...

"I loved and love Buffy...That's true..." I stared at Giles...

But that doesn't give you the right to suggest...What I think you're suggesting...I paused...

"Besides..." I noted... "What could I possibly gain?...With Angel dead, I've lost everything I've won in the past months...Financially that is..."

And if Buffy ever had the slightest suspicion...I eyed Rupert...Who stared coldly at me...

"I'd lose what passes for the only possible family I can ever hope to have..."

I was pricking him in his vulnerable spot...Or so I thought...

His little Slayer-girl...His beloved "daughter"...

If he wanted me, he'd have to nail her as well...

He put his hands together and to his chin and stared at me...Smiling...

I tried to press on...Realizing something was not quite breaking my way...

"Will...Do you know what I think?..." he looked at me...

"I think...You and my former charge lured Angel out on that trip to LA...Out on to that road...

And murdered him..."

It was skillfully done...he paused...I grant you...

But...

"Giles, you're coming at me all wrong...But even if you think I had something to do with it...How could you think...?"

I was Buffy's mentor for many years, William...he stared at the wall...

I know what she is and is not capable of...

"And bearing up under that horror of a marriage...Yes, I know what a horror it was...After what happened the year before..."

She was not capable of it...

But killing Angel...The one who'd taken her freedom away...Who'd left her to fight Glory and die...Who could have returned to her long ago but preferred to go on playing hero until he needed a mother for his son...And who, in the end she realized, had always loved someone else...But would never let her go as long as he lived...

She was capable of that...With your help...

Or even without it...

He sighed wearily, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes...

A "father" who knew his "daughter" completely...With all the sorrow that potentially implied...

You were quite right...In what you said to me in Los Angeles that night with poor Drusilla...

he paused...

I should not have left her alone then...It was too much for her...

"I'm to blame for much of this..." he looked at me...

I stared at him...Trying to look straight at him...

"You can't believe that Buffy...It was an accident I tell you...I was there...Look at the police report..."

He got up and paced the room...I watched him...

"William, if you escape staking for this and ever have another chance to commit a human-style murder, I have a suggestion for you..."

Never let an insurance company get involved...

Insurance...? I was genuinely surprised and he saw that...

"Angel was heavily insured, my boy...Didn't she tell you that?..." he looked at me carefully...

"Several million dollars worth, I believe..." he smiled...

Well...I had figured he'd carry some life insurance...But...

"Insurance companies hate to pay up, you know...And will check into a matter like this...Thoroughly..."

Giles reviewed the case...Laying out the facts in a way perhaps not quite right...

But close enough to make me shudder...

"So...You came back to Sunnydale after breaking off your earlier relationship with Buffy and leaving...And with considerable urging on Buffy's part, Angel insisted on extending you a helping hand..."

Perhaps she even contacted you, persuaded you to come back...And help her...

She was desperate to break Angel's and Dawn's hold on her...So...

You and Buffy resumed your relationship...Keeping things as discreet as possible...

While you waited for family and friends to accept your presence, the demon-block spell to confirm your humanity, and your efforts with Angel's company to explain your reason for staying in town and your trustworthiness...

Then she was pregnant...A perfect chance for you...Given the kind of "accident" staged, no one would suspect her in her condition...

"I don't believe it and no one else will..."

Will, the insurance company that insured Angel also insures businesses in Sunnydale...

I stared at him...he smiled...

You and Buffy had very well defined Patrol routes...Angel being the methodical sort of fellow he was...

"And yet almost every night, when you were supposed to be making your circuit, you both were photographed by several different surveillance cameras headed for your apartment...Often by separate routes, sometimes Buffy alone...But always long before your Patrols were officially over..."

And that night...In LA...You and Buffy and Angel...Drove for nearly three hours up one of the most dangerous highways in the world and stopped on the way back on the edge of a curve that was a well-established death trap...Stopped and came up...Deliberately, right to the edge...

"The police may have been satisfied but the insurance company found the tread marks your car made...Marks that indicated you or Buffy pulled the car right to the edge and turned to face the passenger side to the cliff..."

You did it for her...he paused...

I said nothing...But I know the look on my face must have removed any remaining doubts for him...

"The question is...Will..." he stared at me...

Did she do it for you?...

I looked at him...

She lost the baby, Will...he sighed...

Tara and Dawn had instructions from me not to say anything to you...

They didn't know what I did, of course...They thought they were simply keeping bad news from you...

"She told you it was your baby, didn't she?..."

I started...I couldn't help myself...

She wouldn't...Couldn't have done that to me...

"It was Angel's..."

I went blank...And black inside...

He came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder...

"I'm sorry, William...But it's the truth..." he signaled one of his men who pulled out a file...

Blood tests...Confirming the paternity of "our child"...

Angel's child...

A girl...Would have been, anyway...

And Buffy must have known for months, Giles explained...She'd had a battery of tests performed secretly at the insistence of the Council who were anxious to see if the Slayer was breeding another human child like Connor...Or some hideous thing, coming out upon the world via the door she and Angel might have opened for it...

"She was desperate Will...If she had had the baby while Angel was alive...And it was confirmed as his...She'd have lost you and any hope of being free of him...And Dawn..."

I hung on desperately...Trying to avoid letting the words slip out...

Much as I wanted to see her fry or be buried alive in prison now...Practical matters...

I'd burn too...Literally...

Of course...Giles looked at me...You might not be a full participant in this...

She didn't tell you about the insurance...That's obvious...

"I didn't kill Angel...Whatever you may think about Buffy and me..."

Then...I suggest you file a complaint against her...he smiled...

After all, she tried to kill Angel with no concern for you...

Perhaps...If you're able to convince the Council...They'll accept that you were an innocent dupe in this...

I stared at him...Giles?...

"You'd let Buffy take the heat for this?...Your Buffy..."

She's the Slayer, William...If I can get her to confess...Make a clean breast of it...

I may be able to save her from the most severe punishments of the Council...

"Angel, you see...Was considered an irreplaceable asset..."

But...There is always another Slayer...

And there are many in the Council who will insist on her termination...As painlessly as possible for the greater good...

Faith's case will only add fuel to the fires...

He looked at me...

"If you swear out a complaint against her...And she confesses...I may be able to save her..."

But at the very least, you'd have a fighting chance for yourself...

The shock of what I'd learned was too much for me...

Buffy had betrayed me, lied to me about the baby...Angel's baby...For months...

And if Giles was telling the truth, I'd be helping her in any case to save her miserable neck...

I agreed to swear a complaint...A petition to the full Council on the incident...Expressing my misgivings about Buffy's behavior towards her deceased husband...And my feeling that my own precious ass had been in jeopardy...

Giles left after instructing the one man remaining behind to get my full statement and have me sign it...

He was anxious to confront Buffy as soon as possible with what I'd given him...

The sooner she caved and talked, the more chance the Council might relent...

"Seems a little unfair..." my guardian noted...Speaking for the first time as he typed my statement up on his computer...

You have a right to defense counsel, you know...Even with the Watchers...

I took the hint...Who'd he know?...

"I'll get him..." my new friend smiled...

An hour later he brought in...Good ole Willie...

This your friend?, I glared...

The clerk-guard nodded...An intermediary actually...

"I know a guy..." Willie smiled...

He can help you...

You too...? I sighed...

I can see the markup on this is gonna kill me..

In fact...Willie went on...He's been asking about you and the Slayer all week...

"What can he do for me?..." I asked...

Well...Willie grinned...Can't say as to specifics...

But he is Chairman of the Watchers Council...

Part XI...

There was no time to see Travers before Giles brought Buffy over to see me...

Clearly he needed to have us confront each other to get her to talk...

He left her with me...A few moments alone to convince her to see reason...

She eyed me...As I lay on my bed...Coldly...

"Did you swear that petition out against me?..."

I was sorry to hear about her losing...Angel's baby...I told her...

"Would you have helped me if I told you the truth?..." she looked at me...

I had to be tested, I knew the Council would insist, Giles had told me long before, just after I married Angel...

"I wanted it to be yours..." she looked away from me...

It would have been ours...What did it matter if Angel fathered it?...

"You were willing to murder the father of your girl?..." I stared at her...

"You were willing to murder the best friend you ever had...?" she smiled coolly at me...

And betray me...

"I betrayed you?...You..." I tried to rise...

"Careful..." she looked at me...Wincing as I groaned...

"Well..." she stared at the wall... "I see now why I had to be the driver..."

"You and Giles are hanging me out to dry..."

Giles...I paused...Says he's trying to save your pretty neck...

And I don't exactly get much out of this, you may have noticed...I waved my broken arm slightly...

"Oh no?..." she grinned coldly at me...

You're the new head of Angel Investigations...she paused, nodding...

Angel had named you in his will...I wasn't sure, but I had figured as much...she smiled coolly...

"He'd never entrust it to his silly, mentally incompetent little woman..." she noted bitterly...

So...she smiled...You see, you did make out preety well...

Good old Angel, I thought...Well...Silver lining and all that...I noted...

She glared at me...

"It's not that easy...I won't let you off that easy..."

"Giles has your statement now...Plus the info the insurance companies gave him...I have no choice now...I'll have to talk..."

I could the situation in a new light now...And realized that Giles had lead me deliberately into a trap...

"You turned yellow on me, Will..." she looked at the wall...

If you'd just believed in me...We'd be ok...Giles and all his insurance helpers couldn't have proven anything if we'd stuck together...

"What did you expect me to do when he told me?...Buffy, we've both been tricked..."

It...Oh, William...It was a beautiful little thing...she sobbed suddenly...And brokenly...

I'd forgotten...My poor Buffy...

I saw it...On the bed in the hospital...Just after...It all happened so quick...

"I'm sorry...Buffy..." I tried to reach out for her hand...Too much for me...

But she saw me move and came over...

"I thought...I felt ok...Oh, God...I didn't want to kill her!..."she looked at me in despair...

I didn't hate him that much...I would have kept her...she was pleading, with me in...Angel's?...place...

I wanted it to be yours, Will...But what could I do?...

She paused...

"And you said before...You swore you could bear it being anyone else's child...So long as it freed me from Dawn and we could be together..."

I had to bow my head at that...

It was true...I had sworn to that, back at the beginning, up and down Sunnydale as we Patrolled...

"I let you down too, I guess..." I nodded...

And...You'll pay for it...she stared at me...

"Giles!..." she called...

"You can take me home now!.."

Giles entered a moment later and took her away...

An hour or so later Willie brought Quentin Travers, Chairman of the Royal Council of Librarians and Library Scientists, the Council of Watchers to those in the know, in to see me...

"Well, Mr. William Walthrop..." Travers extended a hand to me as I lay in bed...

"Mr. Travers..."

"You've been quite a headache to me over the years, Spike..." he smiled genially...

Never more so than now...

"I take it Giles doesn't know you're here?..."

No...I preferred to see you without anyone's knowing first...he told me...

"And just why are you so interested in my fate...?" I asked him...

He chuckled...

"Interested in your fate...Oh, definitely...Concerned for it...Not at all..."

Except...That your fate is linked to our Slayer's fate...

The greatest Slayer by far we've ever had...

"Giles underestimates her importance to us...At my urging the Council has never assessed her value properly..."

She and Giles were always so independent and demanding...We couldn't let our bargaining position be undermined too far...

She sounds like a choice piece of real estate...I noted...

"Buffy is a valuable commodity, yes..." he smiled at me...

And Angel's loss...?

"Bearable...After all, we now have...You..."

And I suspect you will be more willing to follow our dictates than Angel ever would have been...

Especially after I help you out of this difficulty...he concluded...

"You'll squelch the case?..." I looked at him...

Certainly not...he stared at me...

The Council has a set procedure which must be adhered to...Especially by its Chairman...

"But...I can defend you and our Slayer..."

He grinned...

"In fact, I rather look forward to jousting with our dear Ripper...We've broken a lance or two in Council...It's quite a thrill for me..."

And the stakes are rather high in this one...Both your lives, actually...

"Both?...Giles said..."

Giles has been away from us too long...Travers sighed...He has assumed we'd take the utilitarian view...Forgetting the Council is composed of humans...Many of whom have been angered by the Slayer's arrogance toward us in the past...

The sentiment in the Council is to deal with the Slayer problem once and for all and start out fresh...he smiled...

Giles may believe we'll give in, based on Buffy's past record...

I don't...Which is why I'm here...And why I'm willing to help you...

"But...If you agree to let me help you...I run the show...You nod your head and do as I tell you...We must get moving at once..."

I nodded my head...I had no choice...

I spent a feverish night in bed, alone...Tossing and turning...

If Buffy formally confessed to Giles...Implicated me...Both our necks would be on the line...

I believed Travers about the Council's feelings towards their rebellious Slayer...I'd seen the COW in operation against other troublesome members, both ordinary human and Slayer, over my extended lifetime...

He'd promised to go to her, let her know the danger of speaking out, even if it would give her the pleasure of seeing me twist in the wind...

If she wanted that...I thought over our last conversation...She'd still spoken of me as if I mattered...Not as the poor fool dupe she was enjoying letting in on her game at last...

Could she have been telling the truth?...Only keeping the baby's paternity a secret to spare me...

Or was she stringing me along...Hoping demon-blocked, human Will would do the noble thing for his lady and take it all on himself?...

I thought of the little girl...Angel's baby girl...Who would have been mine...

And I knew it was true...I had promised I wouldn't care...And I wouldn't have cared...

My poor, poor Buffy...And my poor baby daughter...

I put my head to the wall and sobbed...

To my surprise, I had an early morning visitor...Tara...

Who told me that Travers had come by Buffy's, offering to do what he could...Whatever that was...

Guess the Chairman of the Council never misses an opportunity to woo back his Slayer to duty...

Judging by her conversation, Buffy had not talked and neither had Giles...

But she knew I had heard...About the little one...

"It must be terrible for poor Buffy..." I told her...

She seems to be dealing...Tara noted...

"But...You, Will?...How's about you?..."

I'm planning to take up a new profession...I smiled, feebly waving my broken and whole arms...

Something nice, safe, and home-centered...Writing...

"Seriously?..." she looked at me...

Well...I grinned...I've come to realize...I may not be a good poet or a great writer...But...

I have a hell of a story to tell...

She beamed at me...That's for certain...she agreed...

"But..." I noted... "I will be around...To help watch out for you lot..."

Always...It's my nature to stick to people I care for...

You can still do a lot of good at the agency...she noted...

And plenty of material there for a writer-poet...

"I don't think I brood well enough..." I smiled...

Angel would want you there, Will...she looked at me...

And we do need you...Bad a poet as you may be...she grinned...

She helped me feed, straightened up the place, and headed off...Blowing me a kiss as she left...

My friend Tara...Joyce reborn in kindness and compassion...

A terrible fear passed over my heart...That she might find out...That she might already suspect...

And come to hate me...

Somehow I couldn't bear that...Losing the trust and faith she had in me...

The emotional burdens of humanity...It was so much simpler when the one being I cared for at all was Drusilla...

Travers brought Buffy over about 11am...So far she'd said nothing...To anyone...

I explained that Travers would be defending us before the Council...A televised hearing from a hall rented in town for the occasion...

The Council spares no expense in bringing you a good lynching...

She stared at him, saying nothing...His man, the same man from yesterday, who got Willie for me, in with him...

Guarding me...From myself I guess...

And from her...

She had reached the breaking point...I'd offered her nothing to suggest that I was going to rescind my statement...Moreover, Giles was threatening to tell the others if she did not start talking...

Like me, she also couldn't bear the thought of those who trusted and believed in her learning the truth...

Natural for two human-souled creatures like us...

Giles came by just after noon...

To plead with her once again...And confer with his Chairman...

Whose presence at my crypt would have been a secret to him had not Dawn mentioned it in passing when he came by the Summers' to see Buffy...

He was very suspicious of Travers' involving himself in our defense...

But affected his usual Gilesian air of nonchalance...

Travers however had a genuine surprise for him...

"There won't need to be a full and formal hearing, Rupert..." he noted...

I've reviewed what you've learned...And the facts of the "accident"...

And in my clients' names, I admit their guilt and will beg the Council's mercy...

Buffy glared...I nearly made it out of bed...

She screamed...

"No!...You can't..."

I refuse to be a party to this...Giles, listen to me...!...she hollered...

"My dear Buffy..." Travers told her quietly...The hearing is settled...

Sit down and be quiet or I will have you sedated...

He'd brought several large fellows...Clearly having expected a scene like this...

Buffy quieted...

"It is for the best, Buffy..." Giles told her gently...

I believe the Council will be merciful...If only for practical reasons...

She refused to look at him...And he left a few moments later...

I hollered at old Quentin, our "friend"...

"You son of a bitch!...You led us on ...Entrapped us..."

Buffy turned on me...

"You!...You arranged this for me...Oh, I see it now..."

Trust you and your help...Just as I trusted you when you said the father didn't matter...

The Chairman gets me on his notch, you get off scots-free...

Travers turned to her...

"If you wish to make a statement, Buffy...You can give it to my friend...he indicated the same man who'd brought us all together...

Yeah...A statement...she nodded...Not looking at me...

Part XII...

Travers left us with his man...And Buffy made her "statement"...

A full and detailed account of our little conspiracy against the Brooding One...

The little clerk took it all down quietly, printed a copy which Buffy signed and left...

Odd...I thought I recognized him for a moment as he got to leave...

Where the hell?...Oh, well...

My attention was elsewhere...On Buffy...

Who eyed me coldly...

"You should have believed in me, William..." she said quietly...

Saying nothing afterwards, just staring into space as she sat by me...

My dutiful step-grandma, at the sickbed of her injured grandkid...

A knock at the door...Travers...Smiling broadly...

And Giles...

Well...Giles paused, looking at me keenly...

"One never knows how these things may turn out, does one?..."

I stared at him...

"Giles...You can't let him do this to Buffy..."

Travers grinned...

"And what, my young friend...Have I "done to Buffy"?"...

I glared at him...

You miserable...

Giles stared coolly at Buffy...Who stared at her hands in her lap...

"Rupert...?" Travers looked at him...

Might I have a moment alone with my clients?...

He nodded...Heading for the door...But paused just as he reached it and turned to Travers...

"Congratulations, Quentin..." he paused...

I sincerely hope it's for the best...But...he sighed...

"There are always consequences..."

"So..." I stared coldly at Travers...

When do we fry?...

He smiled...And shook his head...

"Well...?" I looked at him...

Buffy continuing to stare at her hands...

"You're free...Both of you..." he nodded to Buffy who looked up at him in shock...

Free...? she stared at him...

"What...?" I looked at him...

"As of thirty minutes ago the Council dropped the charges on Giles'

recommendation...Following my reopening of the case..."

He smiled...And explained...

He'd let Giles have enough rope to run with the earlier admission of guilt...While all the time

working behind the scenes with the very insurance companies who'd made Giles' case for him...

Pointing out to them that if they accepted the LAPD report and verdict and settled, they'd lose a

couple of million in life and accident insurance...But if they pressed on with the murder verdict,

focusing on Buffy, he'd hit them with a series of suits for her...And for me, the innocent victim...

And without a clear confession of guilt from one of us, the case simply would not hold up...

As for Buffy's "confession"...

All he'd had to do was keep her from confessing to Giles...So he had her vent to a dummy, his

own man...Not a Council member at all, as we assumed...

My man took her statement and gave it to me...Travers smiled...

And I appear to have lost it...

"Smiles, people...You're free...And quite wealthy, I understand..."

Of course, he smiled...In cases like this I usually take half...

Buffy looked at him...

But...

Travers smiled coldly... "I don't want the money..."

"I just want our dear Slayer back..." he leered at Buffy who shuddered a bit...

I glared...

He blinked...

"I mean...To kill for the Council, of course..." Travers looked at her and me, rather startled...

What...You thought?...he was a tad indignant...

"You people have been wallowing in murder and evil for much, much too long..." he noted...

Try taking a vacation...

"Besides..." he smiled again...Pulling a check from his pocket...

"This is all the reward I personally require...$100 from one Rupert Giles..."

We had a little bet as to whether or not I could pull this one off...

A bet...Buffy looked at him...And me...

Giles bet my life with you...she stared at him...For $100...

"If it's any consolation, Buffy..." Travers smiled a bit more kindly...

"He was sure the Council would spare you...And would have fought for you if they hadn't..."

She nodded...Looking at me...

Travers happily took his leave...

Buffy stared at me quietly, then looked away...Sitting with hands folded...Until Tara and Dawn

came to take charge of the invalid...

"Any problem with old Travers?..." Tara asked me a tad anxiously...

None...I replied...

Council's anxious to have us back at it asap that's all...

She frowned...

"Least they could do is offer you two some vacation time..."

Actually...Buffy paused, speaking from where she now stood...

He suggested we each take one...

"Maybe when we're better...You and Dawny and Will and I can do that..." she smiled faintly at

Tara...

The inquest and various hearings settled...We had one more obstacle...

A funeral...

For our beloved Angel...

They'd held it up for us until our joint recoveries allowed it...

No need to worry about getting the body into its grave in a rush, after all...

I could see that somehow word of the Council hearing had leaked...Some of the AI staffers

present...Human and demon...Were ready for revenge...Sure something had been pulled...

By Buffy as well as me...

The "family" thank God...The old gang, I mean...Had not heard...Or, at least chosen not to hear

these "rumors"...They escorted Buffy and me to the front row...

The rest were clearly not as forbearing...And the murmuring was taking a ominous tone...

But all banged up as I was...Not to mention the chip...And she, in her condition, barely on her

feet herself...We weren't in any position to demand they cut the sharp cracks and looks...I was

nervous...If they chose to come after us now...

I mean, I knew Harris and the others would die for us of course...

Just...Too quickly...

But Wesley now came in, whispered to the others...About the verdict...

And I could see it was gonna be ok...They calmed and the sharp cracks stopped...

A couple came over and patted Buffy...Even I got the red carpet treatment, brought up front and

introduced by Wesley as Angel's good friend and vampiral descendant...

The new head of Angel Investigations...

Tara beamed at me as did Dawn and Willow...

Anya seemed a tad sour...Perhaps a little healthy suspicion there...

Buffy looked at me with a noncommital expression...

The tears, sincere ones...Were running down my face as I sat down and we continued the

ceremony...

After all, Angel had been the best friend I'd ever had...My grandsire...

It shouldn't surprise that I'd cry for a guy I loved as much as him...

And for our little girl...

Buffy was set as stone throughout...She'd done her crying earlier, Dawn told me aside, after the

funeral...

But she was worried...It was like when her Mom died...Buffy trying to focus on the details,

keeping her emotions bottled...

Could I?...Try to speak to her, bring her out a little...Help her...

She smiled at me...She knew I was the one person who could help Buffy right now...

I'd do what I could, I assured her...

Odd that Dawn should know...And not know...About me and Buffy...Something instinctive, I

guess, her being made from Buffy and all...

But it was a first faint suggestion of hope for me...A confirmation that Buffy hadn't been simply

using me...

I was desperate to grab at anything to convince me of that...That this hadn't been all for nothing...

As for Buffy, she did the proper young widow well, and greeted me with muted warmth as

Angel's best friend...And her close one...

With appropriate concern for my recovery...

Part XIII...

For the next few days we avoided each other as much as possible...Maintained our mutual pose

of dear friends mourning an insuperable loss when we had to be together with others...Our only

real time alone being the parts of Patrol we felt it absolutely necessary to share, which

considering our joint recent injuries we limited to a remarkable degree...

And during those times we kept it strictly business...

Observing us, one might have thought we hated each other and kept it polite only for the

business' and form's sake...

Not too far from the truth, actually, given all that had happened...

Each of us blaming the other...And ourselves...

We'd "won"...And lost everything that mattered...

My principle consolations were the work, which was nearly overwhelming now that I was the

one for whom the buck stopped...And dear Tara, my chief assistant now...

I turned to her as Buffy no doubt turned to Dawn...As someone who viewed me as I had been...A

worthy friend and a decent, even courageous person...

Harder for her I suppose...Buffy had been a heroine for so long...I was new to the game...

But I liked it...And in my leisure regretted that I'd so easily thrown away what I had won over the

past couple of years and with my dear friends and grandsire's help...

Now I was condemned...My human soul this time...

No way to plead this time that I was the innocent victim of bad timing and a psychotic

vampiress...

But to Tara...I was still a noble figure...William Soames Walthrop, the man who'd somehow kept

a bit of his soul alive and fighting until the chip, love, and a little magics help could come to his

aid...

And now carrying on the good fight in his best friend's name...

I suppose of all things I dreaded, her...And to a lesser extent, Dawn's...Learning the truth was

what I feared above all else...

However...It hadn't occurred to me that she might be seeking comfort from me...

Until one day...After Willow had been working with her and they fought a bit...I found her in her

office, sobbing...

Willow having left in a rage...

"I told her...I still wasn't ready..." Tara looked at me after I'd done my duty as a Victorian

gentleman...The sympathetic word, the pat on the shoulder, a politely proffered hanky...

"It's been quite a while..." I looked at her...

Willow has been a good girl...It's only natural she'd want some sign from you...I noted...

Tara sighed...

It wasn't simply over the magics...she paused...Willow wanted to stop me from having any

doubts about her...

She knew that I knew...Tara looked at me...

Willow's still in love with Xander...

But...I stared at her...

"She's never really been out of love with him, you know..." Tara noted sadly...

I don't mean that she was deceiving me...Consciously...

She does love me...In a way...

But...

I smiled, in spite of myself...The eternal but...

She returned the smile wanly...

"Willow needed someone...I fit the bill...Needing someone myself so desperately..."

It's you and Buffy all over again, she noted...

I mean...Back then...The year she was resurrected...she hastily added...

You loved her, she needed you...At least someone to hold...

Willow needs me...But she doesn't really love me...Not the way I need...

And deserve...she noted quietly...

"And she wants to make me believe she does...First by magics, now by emotional blackmail..."

I'm sorry...I told her...

But...Are you sure?... It seems to me that Willow loves you more than anything or anyone in this

world...I said, staring at her...

She craves affection...Almost as much as magics...Tara told me quietly and firmly...

"I'll do in a pinch..."

Until another Xander comes along...Or the old one becomes available...

She stopped and grinned wryly at me...

"Neither of us has had much luck with true love, eh Will?..."

I shrugged silently...

"Tell me..." Tara looked at me...

Why didn't Buffy try to help you...Before?...

I never could understand it...Her letting you leave like that...

Trapped and with the chip making it even hard for you to survive...

Even if she didn't love you...She cared for you, that was obvious...You were her lover...

How could she abandon you to...That...?

"But..." she paused... "I guess I could have tried to help you myself..."

I wish I had, Will...she stared at me...

I cried for you when you left...You were so lost...

Like me, I thought...she said...

I stared back...

Will...?...she looked at me...

"I never took the "gay, now" pledge, you know..." she smiled...

"We could comfort each other..." Tara said simply...Hesitating...

Now is the time a proper gentleman asks the young lady to dinner...she grinned at me...

I grinned back and asked her...Properly...

And was accepted...With the one provision that I come to her place and let her cook...

She'd never had anyone else over for dinner but Willow...And Dawny once or twice...

She'd like the chance to test out her skills...

It wasn't like my usual times with Buffy, no wild passion...Just this sweet and gentle

peacefulness...

A peacefulness I'd only achieved with my Slayer a few times...Once, one time before I first left...

When she'd treated me like a human being...Like someone she truly cared for, for the first time...

The night she came to me, after I returned...

And the night she told me about our baby...

Buffy was waiting for me...To start Patrol...When I came back to the office after my evening with

Tara...

Looking at me oddly...

But then I was at something approaching peace for the first time in weeks...

She requested that we stay together tonight...She was rather off her stride...

"Are you sure you want to do this tonight. Buffy?..." I looked at her...

I can handle it alone now...I'm nearly back up to snuff...I told her...

I'll live...she told me curtly...

"Lets go..."

Midway in our circuit, we had a leetle trouble...A couple of Umata demons...Ravenous, fangled

things...

Hadn't been seen on Earth in quite a while I noted to her...Difficult to get them through the

Hellmouth portal...

Hell must be getting desperate...They've been on a losing streak for so long...

She said nothing but set to work...Refusing my suggestion that I call for back up from some of

our operatives...

We ought to be able to deal, she insisted...

I managed to get myself well-involved with one...He or she...Rather a job to tell with this

lot...Spraying a shot of paralyzing venom on me...

Fortunately, Rileyware to the rescue...An all-purpose antidote...Administered easily from a tear-

off pouch...Effective in ten minutes...

Ten minutes during which I was somewhat occupied with my fanged friend...Trying to hold him

or her off with limbs as stiff as a dead man's should be...

A broken tree branch shoved into its maw bought me just enough time...

I came out of it and managed to find the vulnerable spot...A thin membrane overlying part of the

brain...

And finished him or her just in time to see that Buffy was in trouble...

And not seeming all that concerned about her dire situation...

Her Umata had got her down and having paralyzed her was about to set down to a leisurely

meal...

But she...Buffy...Could have managed to reach the antidote pouch...I was sure of that...

I raced off and threw the demon off her...Screaming at her to take a swig of the antidote...Now!...

As new head of AI, I wasn't about to allow my most important employee to commit suicide...

I reached her, grabbed the pouch of antidote and forced some down her throat...Just as the Umata

charged us...

I decided to put more of the Rileyware to good use and zapped it with a stun gun-like

weapon...One we usually disdained to use, but...Hey...When one is in a hurry one uses all tools at

hand...

The thing fell and I carried out the same lobotomy procedure as I had on its mate...

Buffy rose, wobbly...Looking at the dead demons...

I called for a disposal crew...Umata do not obligingly disappear from sight on death...

"You should have let me die..." Buffy told me quietly, staring at me...

"It's my nature to keep trying to save you..." I stared back...

Can't help it...Besides, I can't let the company's image be tarnished...

She smiled sourly at me...And I helped her over to a bench...

"Things haven't worked out for us, have they?..." she stared off into the night as we sat, waiting

for the disposal crew...

We let each other down...she said, still not looking at me...

"It's still no reason to kill yourself, Buffy..." I told her...

I know, she smiled bitterly...I'm too valuable an asset to lose...

And Dawny needs me so much...

"I need you too much..." I told her...

She looked at me for a moment...Then turned away...

"What happened to us, Spike?..."

We killed someone we both loved...I said simply...

And we hate ourselves...And each other...For it...

"Take me home with you, William..." she told me...

If you want me to get through this night alive, take me home with you...

Part XIV...

And so...Back we were...To where we'd started...After her resurrection...

Fleeting, desperate encounters...Whenever we could manage it...

Almost no words between us...

But this time...I had a secret of my own to protect...

I saw Tara two, sometimes three times, a week...Dinner, often at her place, then a movie or

TV...Sometimes...More...

I knew it wouldn't last...We weren't in love...At least not the kind of love I still felt for

Buffy...And she, I knew also, in her heart still felt for Willow...

But the sweet peace it brought me...Her too, I'm grateful to say...

Nice to know I finally helped someone I cared about...

It was odd, I teased her once...Mocking myself really...

The great William the Bloody...And his four, count them, four girls...

Dru, Harmony, Buffy, Tara...

Lord, if word had ever gotten out in my old days...

But then, it's my nature...I'm a conventional sort at heart, really...

A dutiful Victorian one woman man...

Buffy knew, of course, about my occasional dinners with Tara...

But did not suspect they led to anything more serious...Heck, I had dinner with her and Dawn,

with Xander and Anya, even, rarely, alone with Willow, at various times...Though she could see

my attachment to her and she did at times indicate a slight jealously...

That I could share things with Tara that she was not privy to...

And fear...

That I might, in frustration, desperation, tell my friend things best kept buried...

Even if Tara could be counted on to keep mum...And even if the truth could no longer hurt her

physically...The Council having ruled, the decision could not be revoked, just as in a court of

law...

Just the knowledge that some one else she cared about besides Giles knew...

And that Tara might encourage me to break it off with my Slayer, leave...Assume that Buffy was

simply ashamed again of being with me...Not realizing the real reasons why Buffy would choose

to keep our renewed relationship secret...

Reasons which were?...I asked her in one of our very rare and brief talks afterwards...She glaring

at me that they should either be...Obvious...Or her own...

Though I knew at least one of...Her own...

The insurance settlement...

But nothing stays the same, as the song goes...

The settlement went through, leaving Buffy and Dawn financially secure, although I'd seen to it

that they were part-owners in AI in any case...As my friend and grandsire would have wanted...

And gradually, Buffy showed signs of climbing out of whatever depths she'd sunk to...And we

began tentatively feeling each other out...

While Tara and I mutually and lovingly began to wind down our little romance...She could no

more keep from her Willow than I my Buffy in the end...

Then at dinner one night at the old Summers home and later on Patrol, I could see that Buffy was

anxious to talk...Even, for the first time in weeks, a bit light-hearted...

But, when we reached my place, someone was waiting for us...

"Hi ya, Spike...Buffy..." Willie smiled...

Long time no roughed up by...

He asked to come in...Had...A favor to ask...

I suspected I knew what the favor was...

"This is bad, Will..." Buffy hissed to me when we managed a moment alone in the kitchen...

"I know..." I agreed...

But lets take it slow...See what he's up to...

Willie came to the point in reasonable time...

He'd heard that between AI and Buffy's insurance settlement...We'd each come into a

considerable piece of change...

Wondered if we might consider helping out an old pal...Things had soured a little for him...

Business down a bit, times a little harder, you know how it is...he sighed...

"Well..." I smiled... "Always happy to help an old source...And one Angel thought well of..."

Maybe a grand or two to help you out...

He smiled...

He was thinking...Maybe we could make it a leetle more...

Say...Half-a-mill...

Buffy sat bolt upright...Glaring at the little snitch...

I grinned, trying to laugh it off...

"Half a million...Getting big eyes, Willie..."

You'll pay...he smiled coolly...Producing a document from his pocket...

Buffy's "lost" confession...

She stared at him...

"This isn't the original, in case you two got any ideas..." Willie smiled...

If I don't walk outta here...The original goes to the Council...And the cops...

Buffy looked at me...I shook my head slightly and smiled back at ole Willie...

"Nobody'd believe that nonsense...But...We might be willing to offer you a little extra help...Say

$10,000?..."

You're right...Willie smiled...It's nonsense, sure...But Buffy's signature is on it and I

dunno...Somebody might believe it...

He eyed Buffy...Who was getting a rather dark look on her face...

"Say...Maybe that sis of yours?...Or your friends?...Or..." Willie grinned pleasantly...

"Some of Angel's old friends..."

I sighed at Buffy...

"Well...Looks like you got us, Willie...But we've got nothing like a half-million available..."

You got the business...The insurance gave her two mill...She's got the house...I say a half-mill is

generous...Willie noted pleasantly...

Hmmn...I nodded a bit...Grabbed him by his scruffy neck, the chip firing...Damn...

Oughta get that thing out sometime now that I don't need it...

"I'll take him..." Buffy said quietly...

Willie stared at her...And she went to work on him...

After about an hour I signaled to her to stop...

Ok...he sighed...Ok, I'll give you the stuff...

"Willie..." I smiled at him...

I want to know about how you got this...And about your friends...

"No..." Willie whined as he looked up at me through blood-filled eyes...

"I ain't got no friends, I tell ya Spike...I swear..."

Buffy?...I turned to her...

She went back to work...

After two more hours, I tried again...

"No...It's just me, I tell ya...Lemme get the stuff for ya...I ain't got no friends..."

I ain't got no friends...he pleaded...

"I believe him..." Buffy said coldly...

Try...Acquaintances...

Oh...Willie looked at her woozily...

Acquaintances?...Yeah...I got those...

But...

We kept at him for hours in tandem...She for an hour or two, then a grilling with me...

Fear keeping him from talking of course...But finally he decided we were more to be feared than

his "acquaintances..."

With good reason...We were reaching the limits of what could be done without permanent

damage...

He agreed to make a call...

"Andrew?..." he paused as we stood by him...

"Willie...No, it's ok...Look, Spike says he'll deal...But he don't want Buffy to know how much

he's signing over to us..." Willie paused, I looked at him and nodded...

Good boy...

"Look...You and the guys come over...We'll settle here...Tonight..."

Some protest from the other end, I assumed...

Willie looked at us for advice and support...

Buffy smiled sweetly at him...He shuddered...

"Look...Don't argue with me or I go it alone...Spike's coming through and we gotta do our end

right or it's no deal...Just you and the guys come over with the stuff..."

Andrew...Of course...The guy with Travers...Who'd taken down Buffy's confession...Now I could

place him...

Willie finished his conversation with the reluctant but finally accepting Andrew...

"I'd wondered where the nerds got off to..." I smiled at Buffy...

They work odd jobs for the Council now...Willie put in, anxious to be of help...

Outside the regular channels, ya know?...But Travers fired em a coupla months ago and they

came to me...

Buffy brought him a cloth with ice...

Thank you...he nodded, smiling his broken teeth wanly as he took it...

I was...Trying to protect ya...Ummn...Sure, make a leetle for me on the side...he grinned

nervously...But trying to protect my old pals...he nodded...

"Nice work, Slayer..." I grinned at Buffy...

Who smiled back sheepishly...

"I had practice..." she looked at me with a grin...

And helped Willie treat his swollen eye...Fetching him some iodine and bandages...

Thank you, he told her gratefully...

Part XV...

About an hour later, a car pulled up outside my building...

Three figures got out..

.

Buffy grinned at me...

"The Three Stooges are back..."

A little the worse for wear, I see...she noted...

It was a little hard to recognize Andrew, neither of us had known him

well...And nearly two years in hiding had had its effect...Though not to

improve his appearance...

But Warren and Jonathan, whatever marks hard times had left on them, were

indelibly imprinted on our minds...

They entered my building cautiously after pressing my buzzer...Warren putting

on a ridiculous fake voice in answer to my question...

Buffy smiled...Somehow this didn't seem like quite the problem it had been a

few moments ago...

Willie assuring our vicious little friend via my intercom that all was

well...Eyeing Buffy...Who continued to smile benevolently at him during his

performance...

He trembled but gave the part his all..

I waved Willie to the bathroom and locked him in...He rather pleased to be

removed from the final scene of our playlet at that...

Our old friends knocked at my door and I let them in quietly...Buffy waiting in

the kitchen, out of sight...

They entered...Warren displaying his usual brand of nervous bravado...

"Hey, Spike...Long time no provide animated sex toy..." he smirked...

Warren...I nodded...

Jonathan looked around nervously...

"Where's Willie?..."

I jerked a thumb back...Little boys' room...

"Willie?..." I called...

You ok in there?...

Yeah...he returned...Rather pleasantly...

See...I smiled...

"Ok..." Warren looked at me in what I took as a ludicrous attempt to

intimidate...

Lets do this and get out of here...

"Now, Warren..." I smiled... "Surely you and the boys don't intend to just walk

out without a cuppa..."

Cuppa what?...Jonathan looked at me...

Tea...I explained pleasantly...

Or coffee, if you'd like...

Warren frowned...This wasn't a social call, you know...They were quite serious

in their threats...

"I'd like some tea..." Jonathan noted...Frowning at his leader...

"No need to do our business impersonally, Warren..." I noted...

After all, you boys are doing me...And Ms. Summers, if she knew...A great

favor...

Keeping that nonsensical bit of paper out of the public eye...Where some fool

might try and take it seriously...

Isn't it the real thing?...Andrew looked at Warren...

Mears rolled his eyes...

"Of course it's the real thing, you idiot!...You were there when Ms. Summers

dictated it..."

Spike is just trying to be clever...Warren glared at me...

"Have you got the money or no?..." Warren looked at me...

Do you have the original?...I replied...

Right here...Andrew patted the computer laptop under his arm...

These idiots actually brought their hard disk? I wondered...Lord, it couldn't

be this easy...

I smiled at Warren...

"We'll do it electronically...I don't carry $500,000 dollars around in cash if

I can help it, I'm sure you understand..."

Warren naturally demanded we do it via Andrew's computer...With immediate

verification of the transfer...

"Phone's in the kitchen...With the numbers of the special account I've created

next to it..." I smiled...

No DSL?...Warren groaned...All three eyed me with a rather contemptuous look...

Former Victorians prefer the slow band width hookups...The modern world moves

too fast as it is...I noted...

Why don't we all go in...Teapot'll be at boil by now...I noted to them...

Buffy greeted them in the kitchen...Grabbing Mears as he came in and holding a

stake to his throat...

"Balance of power's shifted, lads..." I smiled at them...

Andrew mumbled, staring...

Jonathan greeted Buffy nervously...Nice to see her again...Sorry to hear her

marriage hadn't worked out...

I relieved Andrew of his computer...

Yep...It's there...I noted to Buffy, after firing it up...

My signed original, please...she politely asked Warren as she held him

firmly...

He pulled a sheet out of his pocket...

God, they brought the signed original as well?...What a lot...I thought...

Buffy thinking the same I could see as she grinned back at me...

"Do you want the copies, too?..." Andrew asked helpfully...

Warren sighed...

Buffy agreed that I should accompany Andrew back to the boys' latest lair to

confirm their pleas that no additional copies existed...While she entertained

our two remaining guests in the bathroom with good ole Willie...

Who'd been quite content and happy all during this time...Soaking his face in

some healing herbal mix Buffy had passed to him...

And now even had some company to prevent boredom from setting in...

It's that sunny disposition of his that endears him to us all, I noted to Buffy

as Andrew and I headed out...

After checking their new van, the miserable apartment they were staying in,

complete I noted with wanted posters...The boys having tried their magics mind

control on some bank president's daughter with disastrous results shortly after

fleeing Sunnydale were now wanted for attempted kidnaping, Andrew

explained...I confirmed as best as possible that our friends had brought

everything with them and we returned...

Warren and Jonathan were grousing at each other...In my bedroom now... Willie

urging quiet...Buffy banged on the door to quiet the boys...And looked at me

rather coolly...

"All set?..." she asked...

Odd, I looked at the coffee table...A couple of plates and glasses...

Had she been feeding them?...

Willow was here for a few minutes...she replied...

"I moved our guests to the bedroom and they were wise enough to behave

themselves..."

Ah...

"Well?..." she looked at me...

You're all set...Andrew cut in, happily...

By now he'd given up all hope of financial remuneration and was just anxious to

get home for dinner...

"How can we be sure about this?..." Buffy stared at both of us...Then...

Very intensely at Andrew...

Ummn...Andrew got the point...

Heh...You don't have to worry about us, Slayer...he nervously noted...

No...Buffy smiled coldly at him...

I won't have to worry about you...

She looked at me...But there was something for me in that cold stare...

Buffy?...I stared back...What...?

Andrew, now getting rather desperate, called to his pals...

"Guys!...We gave Spike and Buffy everything, right?..."

Buffy focused on the issue at hand, leaving me wondering...

"What do we do with them?..."

I shook my head...Nothing to worry about...

"They're wanted for trying to mind control some banker's little girl..." I

explained...

"Hey!..." Warren called from the bedroom...

"She was over 21...We aren't perverts, you know..."

Just murderous rapists and kidnappers...Buffy called back pleasantly...

"Well..." Warren fumed, calling back... "If we're going to start

name-calling..."

Willie and Jonathan nervously pleading with him to can it, man...

She ran to the bedroom, opened the door...There was an eloquent silence...

I assume she hit a whole new glare intensity...Whatever it was, it turned Mears

to the equivalent of petrified wood...

"That's better..." she noted, returning to me...

So...If they bother us again we simply call in the FBI...I concluded...

She nodded...But again gave me a cold stare...

Part XVI...

We ended our pleasant evening of catching up with our old friends...

Warren and his followers took their leave...With our suggestion that they leave Sunnydale asap...

Firmly voiced suggestion...

Willie got up to go, having preferred to leave after his former partners...

Mears having an unfortunate vindictive streak...Very unprofessional fellow, that...

Wait...Buffy told him...Coming over...

She handed him a check...$10,000...

"What we offered before...A little gift for helping us with your friends..." Buffy eyed him...

Willie blinked at her...

He'd made out probably better than he'd ever really expected in trying this...

After all, a savage beating was nothing new for Willie the Snitch...

I nodded at him pleasantly...

Buffy was right after all...Always best to keep a potentially useful fellow like Willie handy and

favorably disposed to you...

He paused at the door...Looking back at us...

Well...Ummn...

"I hope it works out for you guys..." he looked at us seriously...

But...Sighing...

For us?...

There always are consequences, ya know?...he smiled wanly...

And...Sympathetically...

After our dear Willie left Buffy was quiet...

I knew something was up...More than just nervousness over our nerds' little blackmail plot...

"You had something to tell me...Before our little tea party..." I looked at her...

She just stared at me...

Well...? I stared back...

Willow...she paused...Eyeing me...

"Willow had an interesting story to tell me..."

I stared at her...

It seems...You and Tara have been getting closer than anyone thought...she smiled at me...

You bastard...she told me coldly, glaring at me...

"Were you going to leave me?...For her?..." her voice took on a deep and dark quality...Not the

shriek I expected...

"How could I "leave you" ?" I retorted...

What was there to leave?...You weren't even speaking to me...And when you finally did come to

see me...Right back to the good old days...Slipping in for a hour without so much as a word...

"Do you love her?..." she looked at me...And I saw her tremble...

Well...I smiled back coldly...Lets see...

She's warm and kind to me...Gentle...Treats me like a human being...Cares for me and always

did, I know now...

How could I possibly prefer that to my ice princess Slayer?...

Buffy looked at the floor and then up at me...Darkly...With the look that must have been the one

that nearly gave ole Mearsy a coronary...

But I am...Or was...William the Bloody...And have a look or two of my own in stock...

"I loved you Spike...I was just starting to think...There might be a chance for us, again..." she

paused...

Then you go and do this...

"What did Willow tell you?..."

She wanted to know what I knew...Buffy looked at me...

"Tara told her some...She'd guessed the rest..."

Well...It was for nothing anyway, you know...she smiled at me...

The same pleasant smile she'd been beaming at our Willie...

Tara loves Willow...When Willow confronted her, she caved...

"We'd already decided to call it quits..." I noted...

Big of you...she smiled coldly...But I caught a tear in her eye...

I tried to move to her, but she brushed me...and the tear...off...

Arms folded...She stared at me...

She smiled again sourly...Then chillingly...

"We may have settled one thing tonight..." she noted coolly...

But...You've got a whole new problem, William...

"See...If I go to the Council now...Unburden my soul of guilt...They won't kill me...Not the

Slayer..."

They need me...And protocol and tradition won't allow for retrying me in any case...

But you...They can still stake you...she tapped my chest...

"You may have chased off the demon with that spell but you're still a vamp...

Guilty of a human murder...

And they can still...stake...you..." she tapped me with her forefinger...

We sat, staring at each other...And then...At her suggestion...Went to bed...

She looking coldly at me as I held her...

"What are you thinking, Will?..." she grinned at me...

Trying to figure a way to kill me?...she cooed...

I stared at her...

And went into the bathroom...Which Willie had left in apple-pie order, perfect houseguest that he

was...

I covered my face with my hands as I stared at the mirror...Thank God the wives' tales about

vamps and reflections are just that...

Trembling as I sobbed quietly...

It was true...As I held her I was trying to think of a way to kill the woman I loved...The woman

I'd killed for...Human Will, I mean...

Not that I believed there was any chance for me with Tara...I believed Buffy when she told me

Tara had returned to Willow...

But now there was only one person in the world who could safely point a finger at me...

The person who'd used me without mercy since the day I told her I loved her...

I won't say I hated her...I still loved her...Whatever part of her I'd reached out to when poor Will

cried out from within me...

But...I wanted the pain to stop...And for it to stop, either she had to love me...Or one of us had to

die...And a kind of resentful anger was inclining me against suicide, if only to deny her the

satisfaction of winning whatever little game she'd been playing with me...

And I hadn't been seeing much in the way of love emanating from her these days...

A new and tense stage in our relationship commenced...

During the day...I fretted in the house, afraid she might be talking even as I sat there, a sitting

duck...

At night, she'd come, Patrol with me...And watch me...Afraid I'd blow town...

But afraid of losing me?...Or that once away, I'd be free to blackmail her from a distance...

She was still afraid of course that the others might find out...I had that much leverage...Although

the Council would have kept it quiet, I still might get word out to Dawn and the others before

facing justice...

Watching each other...

And each night we'd wind up together in bed...

A pair of inseparable lovebirds, that was us...

Much to my shock, one otherwise dull day Buffy chose to announce to the others that she had

fallen in love with me at last...

My faithful devotion had won its rightful reward...With wedding bells to follow...Someday...

Once we were all used to the idea...And time had confirmed my redemption beyond any lingering

doubt...

Tara was happy for me...

To Dawn's chagrin, Buffy basically moved in with me...Though ostensibly still at home and still

keeping a pretty careful eye on little sis...

Clearly she had no intention of letting me out of her sight...

And now we were tied together...If anything happened to her, there'd be little doubt in the minds

of Giles and the Council regarding the responsible party...

Unless I managed it very carefully...Or luck came my way...

Ain't love grand?...

Part XVII...

It was Patrol of course that offered me my best chance of ending this...One way, by Buffy's demise...Or the other, by mine...

And it was on Patrol that my chance came...

She'd come over early after spending some not-so-quality time with Dawn, who was more frustrated with her than ever...I suspect Buffy was deliberately pushing for an explosion in that area, as anxious to settle things with her little artificial sis as I was with her...

Though perhaps not so finally...More along the lines of clearing the air...

Not that Dawn suspected anything...Just, being part of Buffy she had an uncanny ability to sense and mirror her moods...

Much to my surprise Buffy was so upset by their latest spat that she actually discussed the situation with me...Looking to me for support...Or at least an ear willing to listen...

We were to go over to the office in the early evening...But Buffy was delaying...Noting the sun was still up, things like that...

I could see she was anxious to delay our leaving, that she sincerely wanted to talk...

And it was soon clear to me she was simply using her little Dawn spat as a wedge...

But after a few minutes of advising her as to the Nibs' care and maintenance, I'd had enough...

Cutting things off...Suggesting we get a move on...

She looked...Genuinely hurt...Disappointed...

Almost like my old Buffy again...In those odd moments when she'd drop her Slayer mask and show me the by turns loving, frightened, sympathetic young woman underneath...Before resurrection, hardship, and desperation had done things to her...

But the moment passed...And she, turning cold again, had a little surprise...

"My father finally called yesterday..."

I stared at her...

"Old dependable has reared his head at last?..." I smiled...

My messages about Mom never caught up to him until a few weeks ago...Or so he says...Buffy paused...

"He was...Busy..."

Busy...she eyed me..

But...Now...He's coming...With his new wife...

Charming...I nodded...

Can she count to ten?...

Buffy smiled faintly back...

"I told him my news...That his daughter was a widow and had been about to be a bride again..."

He's willing to take Dawny in...

That caught my attention for the first time...

"You'd let that...Fellow...Have Dawn?..."

I can't take it anymore, Will...she sighed...

"I'm leaving..."

A taxi is coming for me in fifteen minutes...Then...I'm gone...

"And you were going to tell me this...When?..." I stared at her...

I wasn't...she frowned at me...

I was just going to leave...

"There's a letter for you..And one for Dawn...At the office..." she said...

She wasn't jerking me around this time, I knew...She was serious...

I can't stand it anymore...she told me...

It's better for both of us if...

"Better for you, maybe..." I frowned...

Besides...You can't leave Dawn...Physically...You said so yourself...You can't break the hold unless...

I paused...She looked at me calmly...

I caught on...And rage filled me...

"You...You were going to leave...Knowing that..." I glared at her...Wanting to kill her or hold her close...Both at once...

So...she stared at me...You do believe me...

"After last time...I figured you'd assume I was..."

Who's is it?...I smiled...

Did you try good old Xander this time?...

She hauled off and slapped me...I caught her second try but she tore away from me...

Staring at me in the center of the room, breathing hard...

A honk outside...Her cab, a bit early...

"You're not going anywhere!..." I cried, grabbing her...

She looked at me...Studying my face as if it were a book as I held her...

"You've forgotten...My chip doesn't protect you anymore, Buffy..." I told her...

Have I?...she smiled...

She didn't struggle, just looked at me...

I hesitated...Then dragged her to a chair and set her down...The horn outside now blaring multiple times...

"If you think..." I paused... "That I'm letting you run to Giles and the Council..."

She stood up...Throwing me off her...

Trembling with rage herself now...

"You think I was going to the Council?..."

That I'd turn in the father of my child?...

I grinned maliciously at that...For a moment she blanched...

I didn't have to remind her what she'd done to the father of her last child...

The cabbie, nervous already in this part of town, headed off...

I eyed her and she tried to move over to the phone...

I ripped it out of the wall...

"All right..." I struggled with my rage for a moment...

She glaring at me as I stood in front of her...

"If you weren't going to the Council...Giles...Then?..."

I have to get away William...she told me...Her rage fading now...

"I can't bear what I'm turning into...And what's happened to us..."

Let me go...You don't love me anymore...Just let me go...

I won't cause you any problems...

We stood looking at each other...

Suddenly, someone banged at the door...

Xander...Calling to us...

Trouble...Big trouble...

Involving Dawn, of course...

Xander and Anya were on the AI payroll as part-timers...Earning a bit in a relatively safe sector to put away for any future kiddies' college fund...

Still able to do some bit for Buf yet not risking the new formed Harris family in quite the old way...

Dawn, desperately lonely...And for once, knowing that worthless Hank was at last on his way, genuinely fearful that Buffy had reached her limit...Had insisted on joining them...

Xander...And his dear mate, now happily, if with much less fanfare than originally planned, married...Could see she was upset...And likely to get into trouble with Buffy "away" with me...Her new "fiancee"...So they agreed to let her join them...

A safe sector, they thought...Better with them than her trying something foolish...

But the forces of the Hellmouth's underworld had been restive for sometime...

First the Slayer, now AI, Inc winning a stunning and unbroken series of victories over them...

They'd decided to escalate...In faint hopes of turning the situation around...Even if they were likewise placing themselves at risk...

The Angelis approach...One, even in my worst moments I'd always found ridiculous...

Mutually Assured Destruction...Surrender folks or we all go to kingdom come...The sort of thing usually reserved for semi-deranged humans...

There had been a few rumors kicking around...A few captured demons boasting of the usual plot to rule or destroy the world...But nothing substantial...And Buffy and I had been too preoccupied with personal matters to pay much heed...

But, as luck would have it...The latest demon leader, one Fryn...In the belief that he had found a safe place to begin his tests...A small factory in an area of town never troubled by the underworld in the past and still run as a normal, ordinary human business...Quite a successful little one, actually...His followers masquerading quite effectively within the plant as human workers going about their normal human business...Had chosen his test site along the quiet Patrol route the Harrises frequented...

And which they were conscientiously checking...A bit earlier than usual for Dawny's sake...

Thus evading the usual precautions Fryn's "people" had taken to conceal their activities...

Anya'd caught sight of several demons in human guise outside the plant...And with Xander's reluctant approval, gone in...Ostensibly to apply as a worker, the majority of the clueless staff within being human...While he and Dawny waited to learn what was up...

They'd figured it would be something mild...Some demon pride earning a few bucks and scarfing down a few quick meals...

Until Anya spotted the energy vortex chamber in the center of the plant...Tapping the same kind of energy that had once powered her own pendant, if in rather more uncontrolled fashion...A little demon doomsday device...With, no doubt, an appropriate ultimatum to be delivered to us following a few successful tests...

Fryn's "scientists" had in turn spotted her...And pursued her outside to where Xander and Dawn waited...

In the pursuit and ensuing fight, Anya'd won them enough time to give Xander a chance to slip away at her insistence...But she and Dawn had been captured...

He'd called the office and gotten an alert out...The staff there had told him where he was most likely to find us if we hadn't already set out...

We arrived to find that the factory had suffered a mysterious gas leak...All the employees sent home...The humans at least...

A guard force of at least ten large, fanged, and horned types on patrol around the gate...

Not a major problem except for our desire to keep them quiet until we'd penetrated the building...

Buffy watching the anxious and naturally trigger-happy Xander as he fretted...

And watching me...

Word came from our AI staff people...Anya had managed to trigger her cell phone...Although she couldn't speak directly to them, they'd gotten enough to know she and Dawn were apparently still alive...And in the heart of the factory...

We arranged for our incoming support staff to create a diversion...Drawing most of the guards...

Only ten I noted...Rather a pitiable force for "world conquest"...

Hard times for our underworlders these days...Buffy faintly smiling at that...

We took out the three who stayed behind...Just the right number for us...

Xander utilizing stun-gun and spear, dispatched his man as quickly and quietly as Buf and I by our own favorite methods...

Having forced the door we pushed on inside...The usual ambushes waiting for us at various dark corners...

Keeping together we had no real trouble but Fryn and his inner circle were alerted...

He had Dawn and Anya brought out from the chamber where his little "Dr. Strangelove" device lay...

And made the usual boasting threats...We're doomed...Personally and as a species...The world must soon kneel at his feet in the name of all things demonic...

Rather too cute a little fellow for the thing to come off well actually...About five foot height, lumpy...Trying to strut like a demon Napoleon...

Buffy and I eyed each other...As long as Dawn and Anya were ok, it was a little hard to keep from chuckling...

First time in a while we'd genuinely shared a smile...

But Buffy was annoyed with the Nibs...And said so...To which Miss Nibs gave her usual "no one pays attention to me" retort...Laced with some real sorrow, this time...

Not able to believe that Buffy could really be considering handing her over to the care of good ole Hank and his bimbette...

Fryn was naturally let down that the Slayer seemed completely preoccupied with her little sis and utterly ignored his menacing presence and threat to world security...

I shrugged at him sympathetically...Indicated that I at least was paying him some attention...

"Slayer's seen a lot of this, mate..." I kindly noted...

Exasperated, he decided to show he was in earnest, and began to activate his device...

No ridiculous "count-down" thing, I'll give him that...Just set the controls and push the red button...

But even he kept most of his attention on the arguing Buffy and Dawn...

Giving Anya, the focus of Xander's attention at least, her chance...She pulled away from her guard, her devoted hubby ran to her and pulled her back, stunning her guard...While I charged for the chamber door and startled Dawn's guards into dividing their attention...

Buffy now charged but they were readier for her...Throwing her back...

I already had ripped open the door and reached the hapless Fryn...Who I must say was in the end a bit hesitant about his world destruction plan...

He'd been thinking more in terms of world blackmail he'd told me later...

Dawn screamed as Buffy went down...A bit off her stride, probably for reasons only I as yet was privileged to know...Three demons jumping her as Xander tried to get through to her...

I heard and turned, Fryn now unconscious...

All I had to do was what I'd done in LA with Angel...Shave a few seconds off my stride...

For a moment, the cluster of demons parted...I saw Buffy stare at me...Not accusingly, just a stare...

Then a gentle smile...And her lips parted...

I understand...Her look said...

Goodbye...With a kiss...

I raced out and to her, throwing Fryn's staff in every direction...

She was a little the worse for wear and I hugged her desperately, she looking at me...Smiling with joy...

"You love me...you love me..." she whispered as she passed out...

I was a bit incoherent but Xander understood me to say that she was pregnant...We had to get her to the hospital at once...

Dawn came over, a bit in shock at the sudden news, and knelt by me as I laid Buffy out on the ground...Trying to think of what to do...Chaffing her wrists...

Anya came over and took charge, had me get Buffy set to rights, a blanket found, making Dawn comfortable...

Xander dialed an ambulance and we waited, Fryn and several other unconscious demons

in attendance...

Part XVIII...Conclusion...

We got Buffy over to the hospital...I arranged for the AI staff to clean up World Conqueror Fryn's little operation and deal with his people...Fryn to be left alive, if mucho humiliated, following proper punishment...

One must, after all, have someone to negotiate with...And Fryn clearly was more interested in cash than conquest in the end...A little relatively generous treatment, supplemented with bribes, and he and his would be on our leash by week's end...

I held Buffy's hands in mine as we rode in the ambulance...Odd, for the first time it struck me...I had the right...I was the "fiancee"...Hell, I was the father...

I bowed my head in silent gratitude...How could I have let this nearly slip away from me?...

"William..." Buffy faintly mumbled...Reaching out...For me...

I'm here...I told her...

"I'm glad..." she smiled at me...

I'm so happy...

"Buffy..." Dawn stroked her, leaning over...

"Dawn...?" Buffy looked at her vaguely...

Thought you'd left...

Dawn stared at her...

Buffy grinned...And we knew it was gonna be all right...

"Just teasing...Sorry..."

If Will's ok with it...I'd like you to stay with us...

"Sure, sure..." I agreed...Squeezing her hand...

We can always use a live-in babysitter...

Dawn laughed through her tears...Buffy smiled...But then...

"Our...baby?..."

The attendant thinks it will be fine...But they'll check everything at the hospital...I told her...

Rest now...Mrs. Walthrop...I smiled and kissed her...

Dawn watching me, nodded...

Buffy went to sleep...

"So..." Dawn eyed me...

My new brother-in-law...

"I would have...Said something...Congrats...That kinda thing...Earlier..." she paused...

But...

I understand...I nodded back...

"It's been a busy past few months..."

I miss Angel...Dawn noted...

"I know...He and Buffy had problems at times...And he was a pain in the butt to her a lot...But..."

I loved ole granddad, too, Miss Nibs...I smiled gently as I could back...

And I know it will take some doing to fill his bro-in-law boots...

Buffy woke with a start, startling us...Breathing heavily...

"Spike?...The baby?..."

It's ok, it's ok...We're almost there now...Sleep, honey...I stroked her hair gently...

The attendant now at her head assured her she'd be fine...She relaxed...

"Joyce?..." she looked at me...Then Dawn...

I nodded, smiling...Joyce it would be...

"Your mother...?"

Amelia...I told her...

Dawn stared...

"Joyce Amelia..." Buffy smiled...

Unless...

"What...What was your father's name?..." she whispered...

Well...See, Buf...My mum was a servant and...Well...

"I had a brother...Philip..." I finished hurriedly, remembering Dawn...

She should rest...the attendant cut in...

"William Philip..." Buffy nodded...And began to nod off...But...

"Dawn...?...I'm sorry..." she whispered...Looking a bit embarrassed...

Nibs...? I looked at her...

"It's ok..." Dawn smiled at her...

Just as long as he does the right thing...Right away...Dawn grinned at me...

We reached the hospital and they brought her in...The rest of the gang gradually filing in as Dawn and I sat in the ER...

Anya was also brought in, just for a few stitches...Xander pacing nervously for his wife and his "sister"...

Tara and Willow took up the job of seeing to the rest of us...

An hour later, the doctor came out to tell us all was well...

I don't remember what happened after that...Just vaguely that they led me in to see her for a mo and she gave the gentle and loving smile she had given me when she gave me the chance to be rid of her...

And I knew it really was all right...Whatever happened in the end...We...Were all right...

I suppose I instinctively assumed the Powers That Be had decided to square accounts, given my earlier unjust damnation, and Buffy's world-saving and martyrdom...

But...They don't work that way...

While I waited for my fiancee's recovery, I decided to start taking the job a bit seriously...

I'd let things slide in the past few months, the Fryn incident made clear...And I intended to do right by Angel and my new family...

It was a bad time to be a demon in Sunnydale, I'm proud to say...At least the human-feeding variety...

As for ole Hank...He finally showed two days later, bimbette in tow...

Dawn was apologetic but really preferred to stay with her Walthrop relatives, thanks...

Hank bore up well under the blow, such as it was...Clearly grateful to avoid the responsibility

for someone almost as needy and dependent as himself...

He was equally relieved to learn that his recovering daughter...Car accident...And her fiancee.

planned a simple, quiet wedding...Justice of the peace quickie...With a little family party insisted on by the gang...

Hank Summers' kind of wedding...

For his daughters, at least...

As for us we didn't wish to offend Angel's memory any more than we'd already had...

Nice as it might have been to see ole Hank blanche as we presented him with a bill for an extravaganza...

Buffy was released a week after her entry...The docs would have let her out sooner but were puzzled by some of her test results...

A little too good in some cases, considering her injuries...

Slayer physiology...

I arranged to pick her up and we went home to my place alone...Dawn getting in a little "quality time" with ole Hank before he vamoosed for another 10 or 20 years...

Quietly joyful...For the first time in so long...

Free...Of the fear and hate, the shame...And together at last...

"Will..." she told me as she held me...

"We're alive again...Both of us..."

Yes...I agreed unhesitatingly...

She cried as she hugged me close...

We have a life to give back now...Our baby...

Maybe the soul of that other will come back to us...In this one...she looked at me...

I nodded...

"Tomorrow...Lets not wait..." she looked at me...

Lets get married tomorrow...

Just us...

As so we were...We slipped out without telling anyone late that next afternoon...

And just after sunset found a justice of the peace in a small town towards the state border...

The judge and his wife were sympathetic...They'd seen many a young couple in our predicament...Eyeing Buffy who was now starting to show...

At least we seemed happy...Many others...The judge's wife sighed...

We signed our names and headed for home...

Mr. and Mrs. Walthrop...

Though Buffy was inclined towards using "Summers-Walthrop"...

If it didn't threaten my Victorian manhood...

She could call herself "the Great Pumpkin" for all I cared, I told her...

Just as long as she got, "wife of William Soames Walthrop" in her cv somewhere...

We found a small motel and stayed there...Buf calling Dawn to let her know...The gang would be upset, but...It was what we needed...

We left a couple of hours before dawn...Plenty of time...And Buffy was feeling guilty about Dawn...Even ole Hank...Though I sincerely doubted...To myself...He would be crushed by his daughter's elopement...

Well...We'd get back...Let the others give us a scolding and a little party...Then a honeymoon consisting of a week by the Pacific in a small, quiet, and well-shuttered cabin she'd located...

She'd lived near it so long...And wanted to see more of it...Under happier circumstances than the last time...

I got my first taste of dutiful husbandhood when a tire went flat...

She got out, grinning as I fussed with the tools...Though watching the sky carefully...

"I could hold the car up for you, if you'd like..." she suggested, grinning...But half serious...

I glared at her...A little sense, madame...Not to mention faith in my instinctive ability with tools...

Well...Maybe best to let you handle it...My wonderful husband...she batted her eyes at me...

I got the tire on and we drove on...Only forty minutes to Sunnydale...

As we drove, she buried her face in a bouquet of flowers I'd bought her...

I was now feeling a tad guilty...Hadn't she wanted something a bit...More?...

This was just right...she smiled at me, squeezing my hand...

The gang is gonna kill us...I noted...

"We've been dead...No big deal..." she grinned...

My Buffy...Back from the dead...For real, now...At last...

She put a hand to her head...I stared at her...

"Buffy?..."

"I...I don't feel well, Will..."

She gasped...

Oh...No...No!...she groaned and looked at me in terror...

I floored it...

We found ourselves trapped behind a large truck...No passing lane...No turn-off...

But little traffic on this road...

I was nervous about trying to pass and we remained behind the truck for a very slow fifteen minutes ...

Buffy trying to cover her groans...But more and more frightened...

A passing lane was coming up...For just a mile or so if I remembered correctly...

"Honk...And the road is yours..." a bumper sticker on the truck's rear...

Unusually courtesy for a 2002 driver, I noted...

I honked...And honked...The truck stayed in place...I still hesitated to try a pass...

"Spike..." she groaned...

The sun...We've...Got to...Pull over...Get you...Shelter...

Trying to reach over and cover me better...

"We're not losing this baby..." I told her...

She looked over at me and nodding, smiled...Touched her hand to mine...

Smiling back at her, I spun the wheel and floored it...Never saw the Jersey knees...On Buffy's side...

The last thing I remember...The terrified look on her face, staring at me...

Unsure...?...

I heard a hideous sound on the windshield as I came to, moments later...

No need to look to know what it was...

Like a faint rain drizzling on the car...Buffy's blood splattering and running...

I didn't need to look to know she was dead...

I covered my face and prayed for the sun to take me...Passing out a moment or two later...

Somehow I was covered well enough after surviving the crash that I made it...

The little extra burning I took easily ignored what with the car fire and my other injuries...

Travers did his best for me...

Took all the money this time...Trying desperately to save his pet vampiral hero and sole usable Slayer...

The old gang claiming at least to believe in me, testified for me...

But it was no good...The Council was already up in arms over the first incident...And Giles, though sympathetic to me personally, was implacable...

Then someone found the note Buffy had written me...The one she wrote when she was going to leave...

A beautiful note, full of love for me in spite of her fear at that time that we had lost our chance ...Knowing the outcome, I rejoiced to hear it...But...

She'd put in enough about Angel and why she feared things were over for us to settle things as far as the Council was concerned...

Giles pointed out to the Council at my hearing that Buffy had clearly been expecting me to try something...

That her plans to leave might well have been out fear of me and that she might have stayed only for the baby's sake...Which I insisted, sincerely, was not true...

But I couldn't deny the rest...

Giles kindly kept much of the proceedings from the old gang...But it was only natural that they would find it impossible to face me...

Only Tara coming to see me by the end...

Telling me the news...The agency well run by Wesley...Poor Dru still the same...The Harrises quietly happy with the news of their first child on the way...

The Council finished its work and my defender brought me the decision...

There was only one last faint hope for me, Travers informed me when he brought the news...Verdict...Guilty...Sentence...Death...

If I made a full confession...The whole truth...Perhaps I'd be granted a reprieve for my services past and future...

After he left, Tara quietly urged me to do it...For my sake...

I stared at her...She knew?...Had she known about Angel all this time?...And still...Or...Did she think?...No, God, no...Don't let her think that...

"No...No...You can't think that...I loved her...I swear!..." I cried...

"I know that..." Tara said gently...

And I guessed about Angel from the beginning...

I stared at her...She sighed...

"I'm to blame for this too, Will...We had no right to do this to Buffy...And you...Put so much on you two and forget that in the end, you were both just human beings, like the rest of us..."

We wanted you to be our perfect and noble heroes and never gave you room to be anything but that...

"I know that whatever you and she did to Angel...Neither of you wanted to hurt him...And none of us gave you any help in finding another way..."

At her promise that Dawn would never see or hear it, I gave her my confession...

Hoping for a kind of absolution, I suppose...

But not if it would keep my soul from Buffy's...

Tara took it all down, keeping a copy in case we needed it and turned the original over to the Council's appeal board...

And continued to stay near and to see me...Never showing by word or action any shame or disgust...Just compassion...And sorrow...

The appeals board reviewed my confession and let the sentence stand...

I hadn't expected them to revoke my penalty, really...But there was just one point I did hope to win on...That they might reword the charges...And punish me for the right crime, not the wrong one...

"I can't die...For killing her...Not for Buffy...Please...Don't say it's for Buffy..." I pleaded...To Travers and Giles, who brought me the word...And to Tara...

"No, no, honey...She knows you didn't..." Tara gently patted my hand...

"This is not for Buffy..."

For killing Angel...she looked quietly at Giles who nodded...

Bless her...My second Joyce...

"Then...It's alright then...It's...It's just squaring things out...You know?..." I told her...

She nodded...

"It's like..." I thought a moment... "Like your email, you know...You may miss a note the first time you check...But it always lets you know...Gives you a second chance to get it right..."

Hmmn...Tara thought...Gotta ask him what he uses before he fries...Mine doesn't do that...

I'm leaving the copy, this note, the true story of what happened...And why...With Tara...

She'll see the others get it...When...If...They're ever able to understand...A little...

They're coming for me now...

If anyone reads this...And can find it in their heart...Send up a prayer for my Buffy and me...

And make it...That we're together...

Wherever that is...


End file.
